Thinking

[Frank Reid]

I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
thrown.

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally, I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
so I could read Kafka and Thoreau. I would return to the office dizzied
and confused, asking, "What IS it exactly we are doing here?".

Things weren't going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned
off the TV, and asked my wife "What is the meaning of life?". She spent
the night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day, the boss called me
in and said "I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job". This gave
me a lot to think about!

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking".

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."

"But honey, surely it's not that serious!"

"It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism!" I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library", I snarled, and stomped out
the door. I headed out to the library in the mood for some Nitzche and
NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe a
higher power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the
ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathrustra, a poster caught my eye.

"FRIEND, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably
recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous (TA)
poster. Which is why I am what I am
today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last
meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life
just seems...easier, somehow, as soon as I stop thinking.

[Guy Thornberg]

"Frank Reid" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
> life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
> taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
> will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
> thrown.
>
> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
> then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
> another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
> I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
> finally, I was thinking all the time.
>
> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
> mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
> so I could read Kafka and Thoreau. I would return to the office dizzied
> and confused, asking, "What IS it exactly we are doing here?".
>
> Things weren't going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned
> off the TV, and asked my wife "What is the meaning of life?". She spent
> the night at her mother's.
>
> I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day, the boss called me
> in and said "I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
> has become a real problem. If you don't
> stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job". This gave
> me a lot to think about!
>
> I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
>
> "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking".
>
> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."
>
> "But honey, surely it's not that serious!"
>
> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"
>
> "That's a faulty syllogism!" I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
>
> I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library", I snarled, and stomped out
> the door. I headed out to the library in the mood for some Nitzche and
> NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
> glass doors.
>
> They didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe a
> higher power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the
> ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
> Zarathrustra, a poster caught my eye.
>
> "FRIEND, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably
> recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous (TA)
> poster. Which is why I am what I am
> today: a recovering thinker.
>
> I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
> video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how
> we avoided thinking since the last
> meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life
> just seems...easier, somehow, as soon as I stop thinking.
>

Frank,
Your story started me thnking...but it hurt...
G

[Wolfgang]

"Frank Reid" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>I...am...a recovering thinker....

Hiiii Fraaaank.

Wolfgang
um......i'm just here for the coffee and doughnuts......honest. :(

[Mike Connor]

"Frank Reid" > schrieb im Newsbeitrag
oups.com...
>I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
> life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
> taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
> will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
> thrown.
>

Life it seems for many, is with awful trials and dangers fraught,
but by far the worst of these, is the tendency to independent thought.
this causes havoc, and upsets the natural order of events,
and may be quite painful to, for those with such unfortunate bents.

You may well seek for understanding, even knowledge on your path,
but I beg of you be circumspect, for independent thought may cause great
wrath,
Your wife just will not see the point, and if you try main force,
before long you will need another wife, after your divorce.

At parties folk avoid you, you may begin to wonder if you stink?
this is not the reason though, they merely fear that you will actually
think!
it might be contagious after all, and where would all this end?
if the neighbours knew that they were seen with a thinking friend.

"Look before you leap", is good advice, take it well to heart,
but better still my friend, "Stop thinking, before you even start!",
is better still, and all through life, will stand you in good stead,
unlike some, who waste most of theirs by thinking, ´till they´re dead!

Thinking then should be eschewed, it causes problems, even discontent,
no good protesting afterwards you "thought" with good intent,
it will not wash, that dog wont hunt, pride goeth before a fall,
just look how many happy folks there are, who never think at all!

TL
MC

[Wolfgang]

"Mike Connor" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Frank Reid" > schrieb im Newsbeitrag
> oups.com...
>>I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
>> life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
>> taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
>> will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
>> thrown.
>>
>
> Life it seems for many, is with awful trials and dangers fraught,
> but by far the worst of these, is the tendency to independent thought.
> this causes havoc, and upsets the natural order of events,
> and may be quite painful to, for those with such unfortunate bents.
>
> You may well seek for understanding, even knowledge on your path,
> but I beg of you be circumspect, for independent thought may cause great
> wrath,
> Your wife just will not see the point, and if you try main force,
> before long you will need another wife, after your divorce.
>
> At parties folk avoid you, you may begin to wonder if you stink?
> this is not the reason though, they merely fear that you will actually
> think!
> it might be contagious after all, and where would all this end?
> if the neighbours knew that they were seen with a thinking friend.
>
> "Look before you leap", is good advice, take it well to heart,
> but better still my friend, "Stop thinking, before you even start!",
> is better still, and all through life, will stand you in good stead,
> unlike some, who waste most of theirs by thinking, ´till they´re dead!
>
> Thinking then should be eschewed, it causes problems, even discontent,
> no good protesting afterwards you "thought" with good intent,
> it will not wash, that dog wont hunt, pride goeth before a fall,
> just look how many happy folks there are, who never think at all!

All of which, keeping context firmly in mind, lends a certain macabre
poignancy to "Just Say No!"......I think. :)

Wolfgang

[Tim J.]

Frank Reid typed:
<snip>
> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
> then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
> another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
> I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
> finally, I was thinking all the time.

You'll know you've really gone overboard after you're arrested and thrown
into the think tank.
--
TL,
Tim
------------------------
http://css.sbcma.com/timj/

[Wolfgang]

"Tim J." > wrote in message
...
> Frank Reid typed:
> <snip>
>> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
>> then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
>> another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
>> I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
>> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
>> finally, I was thinking all the time.
>
> You'll know you've really gone overboard after you're arrested and thrown
> into the think tank.

Precisely why the euphemistic (and entirely irratio.....um....well, never
mind about that) "thought" has been substituted for the more natural (and
all too descriptive) past tense, "thunk".

Wolfgang

[Kevin Vang]

In article . com>,
says...
> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"


Testify, brother!

Kevin,
(But one more thought for the road won't hurt me, will it?)

--
reply to:
kevin dot vang at minotstateu dot edu

[Wolfgang]

"Kevin Vang" > wrote in message
t...
> In article . com>,
> says...
>> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
>> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
>> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"
>
>
> Testify, brother!
>
> Kevin,
> (But one more thought for the road won't hurt me, will it?)

I think not.

Wolfgang

[Frank Reid]

> "FRIEND, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably
> recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous (TA)
> poster. Which is why I am what I am
> today: a recovering thinker.

By the way, if you'll allow me a little plug. TA is sponsored in toto by
the Florida State University system and the Kansas Board of Education.

--
Frank Reid
Reverse email to reply

[Wolfgang]

"Wolfgang" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Kevin Vang" > wrote in message
> t...
>> In article . com>,
>> says...
>>> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
>>> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
>>> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"
>>
>>
>> Testify, brother!
>>
>> Kevin,
>> (But one more thought for the road won't hurt me, will it?)
>
> I think not.

Um.....therefore I am not? :(

Wolfgang
hmph!.....best freebie straight line of the year.....sitting out there alone
and naked for over six hours.....and nobody touches it!

tsk, tsk.......you guys are getting old. :)

[chas]

Well done Frank, it's the thought that counts.

Chas
remove fly fish to e mail directly

[B J Conner]

"Wolfgang" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Wolfgang" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Kevin Vang" > wrote in message
> > t...
> >> In article . com>,
> >> says...
> >>> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
> >>> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
> >>> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"
> >>
> >>
> >> Testify, brother!
> >>
> >> Kevin,
> >> (But one more thought for the road won't hurt me, will it?)
> >
> > I think not.
>
> Um.....therefore I am not? :(
>
> Wolfgang
> hmph!.....best freebie straight line of the year.....sitting out there
alone
> and naked for over six hours.....and nobody touches it!
>
> tsk, tsk.......you guys are getting old. :)
>
>

Cogito ergo piscator

[Tom Nakashima]

"Frank Reid" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
> life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
> taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
> will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
> thrown.
>
> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
> then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
> another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
> I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
> finally, I was thinking all the time.
>
> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
> mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
> so I could read Kafka and Thoreau. I would return to the office dizzied
> and confused, asking, "What IS it exactly we are doing here?".
>
> Things weren't going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned
> off the TV, and asked my wife "What is the meaning of life?". She spent
> the night at her mother's.
>
> I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day, the boss called me
> in and said "I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
> has become a real problem. If you don't
> stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job". This gave
> me a lot to think about!
>
> I came home early after my conversation with the boss.
>
> "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking".
>
> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."
>
> "But honey, surely it's not that serious!"
>
> "It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
> as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
> if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"
>
> "That's a faulty syllogism!" I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
>
> I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library", I snarled, and stomped out
> the door. I headed out to the library in the mood for some Nitzche and
> NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
> glass doors.
>
> They didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe a
> higher power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the
> ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
> Zarathrustra, a poster caught my eye.
>
> "FRIEND, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably
> recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous (TA)
> poster. Which is why I am what I am
> today: a recovering thinker.
>
> I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
> video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how
> we avoided thinking since the last
> meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life
> just seems...easier, somehow, as soon as I stop thinking.
>

Great story Frank. I never knew there was a Thinkers Anonymous. You know
the old saying; "One can never have enough money"? I feel the same holds
true with the ability to think. A lot of people call me an overanalyzer, but
somehow I've managed to have kept my job for 24 years, going on 25 this
coming January. and I've been able to keep my marriage in tact as well. I'll
have to honestly say the overanalyzing has made all this possible for if I
didn't "think" it out, I probably would be unemployed and divorced.

Before the mega numbers with the CA lotto, I thought up a way to give me the
best odds to hit the Super Lotto by spending only $9.oo on the Saturday
draw. I always hit the six numbers, but wishing they would line-up on one
line. One Sunday I woke up and checked the numbers in the local newspaper,
all the numbers were in a straight line, only they were going vertical
instead of horizontal. Today I have better use to spend the $9.oo. I guess
my dad was right, money doesn't grow on trees, but someday I hope to prove
him wrong.
-tom

[vincent p. norris]

>Cogito ergo piscator
>
Don't tell me, don't tell me....
I think I have to go to the bathroom?