February 15th, 2006, 09:07 PM
I liked this from the Daily Show:
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms
mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate
situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his
decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence
available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at
the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing
that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr.
Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for
his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr.
Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a
bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect
their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face
would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak..."
Go Dick, Beat Quail!
Harry
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms
mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate
situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his
decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence
available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at
the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing
that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr.
Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for
his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr.
Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a
bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect
their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face
would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak..."
Go Dick, Beat Quail!
Harry