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Frank Church
September 26th, 2003, 10:15 AM
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two
points in his body.
The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer, who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes.
He was measured at 6 feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old captain who, when asked where he would like
to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles". It was
suggested by the retirement counselor that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
a medical officer took the measurement.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the captain to "drop em" which he
did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the captain's
penis and began to work back ...
"My God" he suddenly explained, " where are your testicles ?
The captain calmly replied "Vietnam"...

George Cleveland
September 26th, 2003, 11:10 AM
On Fri, 26 Sep 2003 09:15:30 GMT, "Frank Church"
> wrote:

>The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
>retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
>bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two
>points in his body.
>The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
>The first officer, who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
>his head to the tip of his toes.
>He was measured at 6 feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000
>The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
>measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
>with $96,000.
>The third one was a grizzly old captain who, when asked where he would like
>to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles". It was
>suggested by the retirement counselor that he might want to reconsider,
>explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.
>But the old captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing
>a medical officer took the measurement.
>The medical officer arrived and instructed the captain to "drop em" which he
>did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the captain's
>penis and began to work back ...
>"My God" he suddenly explained, " where are your testicles ?
>The captain calmly replied "Vietnam"...
>
>
>
>
Arrrr! The salty old dog!


g.c.

slenon
September 26th, 2003, 03:40 PM
An oldie but crusty. But I hope it elevated your mood.

Put some music on to play and think about the next trip to the stream.

----
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
Drowning flies to Darkstar
Save a cow, eat a PETA

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/index.html/slhomepage92kword.htm

September 27th, 2003, 05:49 AM
On Fri, 26 Sep 2003 09:15:30 GMT, "Frank Church"
> wrote:


>"My God" he suddenly explained, " where are your testicles ?
>The captain calmly replied "Vietnam"...

I'm almost ashamed of myself for laughing at that one. But not quite.

--

rbc:vixen,Minnow Goddess,Willow Watcher,and all that sort of thing.
Often taunted by trout.
Only a fool would refuse to believe in luck. Only a damn fool would rely on it.

http://www.visi.com/~cyli