Speaking Of Bears
 

Frank still wants to know when you are comming down to clean the brown stain
off the passengers seat of his new truck...........


Handyman Mike
Standing in a river waving a stick

Speaking Of Bears
 

On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 08:24:22 -0400, Jeff Miller
wrote:

bears...attacks...marks...yellowstone? yikes! hmmm... choc, where did
you say you'll be fishing in the park?

jeff (who definitely believes in giving the bear some options)

You might be surprised at how fast I'd move with a bear as a
motivator. g
--
Charlie...

Speaking Of Bears
 

"Mike" wrote in message
...
For Immediate Release June 11,
2004
Bear attacks 18 year old in Standish
STANDISH, Maine -- An 18 year old who was outside taking pictures of a
black
bear feeding at a birdfeeder in his backyard was attacked and injured by
the
bear yesterday afternoon.



Saw on the news this morning that a black bear wandered into a Franklin
county, Virginia hospital through the automatic doors and began touring the
facility. The news had footage from the surveilance cameras. Some hospital
workers shooed the bear into a room, slammed the door, and then wondered
"now what". The sheriff came, realized that he really wasn't prepared to
deal with an angry bear and didn't have tarnquilizer equipment so he
dispatched it the old fashioned way. Other than the bear, there were no
reported injuries.

For those not familiar with Southwest Virginia, Franklin County is widely
regarded as the "moonshine capital of the world". Don't know who affixed
that label, but I do know that when trooping around those woods with a
friend many years ago, I was advised not to stray too far from the well worn
paths.

Jim Ray

Speaking Of Bears
 

The bear must have had "rusty nails"......


Handyman Mike
Standing in a river waving a stick

Speaking Of Bears
 

"Mike" wrote in message
...
Frank still wants to know when you are comming down to clean the
brown stain
off the passengers seat of his new truck...........

The bear put it there......in a manner of speaking......talk to the
bear.

Wolfgang
and, yes, the truck WAS in the woods.

Speaking Of Bears
 

....If a bear does not immediately leave after seeing you, the
food may be encouraging it to stay. Remove any sight or smell of foods...

Um......it probably shouldn't be necessary to add that it's best to wait
until the bear leaves before embarking on this undertaking.

Found out I didn't speak bear. He understood not a wit of what I was
attempting to communicate.

...Occupy a vehicle or building
until the bear wanders away.

Over to you, Frank. :)

Wanders away? We'd still be there. Time for me to wander away.
--
Frank Reid
Reverse Email to reply

Speaking Of Bears
 

How about this one:

Canadian College Student Kills Bear with Frying Pan


Bear breaks into house, attacks, but resident attacks back. Local animal
rights groups outraged.

VICTORIA, BC (PRWEB) May 26, 2004 -- In an attempt to get a free meal,
what was described as a "very large" bear broke into the rural homestead
of a BC college student, who was home on vacation at the time. The
student, who would only give his name as Ryan, says, "I had just grilled
out some salmon and walked back into the dining room to eat. Just as I
had just sat down, it sounded at though someone was trying to break down
my door." As Ryan went to investigate, the door burst open and the
gaping maw of a northern Kodiak bear appeared inside his living room.
Ryan recalls, "It was the scariest moment of my life, right up there
with the fishing accident in Sasketoon when I was twelve."

As the bear forced it's way into the dining room area, the beast found
the grilled salmon it had smelled from what authorities estimated was
over a mile away, where they found the bear's tracks around a small
cave. Ryan tried shouting at the bear to get it to leave, but the bear
seemed to be intent on the salmon it was feasting on.

Ryan then proceeded to throw various kitchen utensials at the bear to
get it's attention. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do," he said.
"After I hit the bear in the head with a wooden spoon, the bear started
coming after me!" The would-be bear snack ran to the other side of the
kitchen counter as the bear raised up on it's hind legs and tried
swatting at him. "The bear was blocking my way to my room where I
actually have a gun, so I found the only thing I had that I did not
throw at him, my frying pan." he relates. "I picked up the frying pan
and shouted, bring it on, bring it on!" Ryan jumped over the counter and
started swinging the frying pan. The animal, estimated at six feet tall
on all fours and over eight hundred pounds, got back on all fours and
started to charge the young man. When the bear was about 1 foot away
from him, Ryan swung the cast iron frying pan and hit the bear on the
right side of its head. "The bear appeared to be dazed, so I just kept
pounding him with the frying pan."

"After I hit the bear about fifteen times, the bear fell to the floor,
but I dared not let up. I hit him for about another five minutes until
he was not moving at all," Ryan says. Only then did he take the time to
call for local law enforcement. "When the police showed up, they could
not believed what they saw."

"It was the craziest thing I've ever seen," said Officer F. Barnes, of
the Victoria crime scene investigation unit. "He actually killed a bear
with a frying pan." The local wildlife officer showed up and took
measurements of the bear, one of the largest involved in a home invasion
incident in recent memory.

The bear caused about $400 dollars in damage to the house. There is no
word on what became of the animal's body, but local animal rights
activists are filing to take posession of the bear's remains, claiming
it was an immoral act of killing, and Ryan should not be allowed to make
a bearskin rug out of it. Darcy Morris, president of the local chapter
of Animal Rights Abuse Watch (ARAW), says, "This young man should be
prosecuted, not praised. The bear was simply following his natural
instincts, and had this Ryan criminal left it alone, no harm would have
been done. It's disgusting, and he can expect to hear from our lawyers."
Ryan's attorney could not be reached for comment.

Speaking Of Bears
 

Kevin Vang wrote:

How about this one:

Canadian College Student Kills Bear with Frying Pan

He's lucky he didn't kill a grizzly bear in Montana. He'd
STILL be paying off the fine. If you kill a griz' in Montana
you'd better be in need of several hundred stitches or your
ass is grass.

--
Ken Fortenberry

Speaking Of Bears
 

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in
message ...
Kevin Vang wrote:

How about this one:

Canadian College Student Kills Bear with Frying Pan

He's lucky he didn't kill a grizzly bear in Montana. He'd
STILL be paying off the fine. If you kill a griz' in Montana
you'd better be in need of several hundred stitches or your
ass is grass.

Uh huh. I believe that even I, and even in Montana, could
successfully defend a client busted for poaching a bear in his own
kitchen.

Wolfgang
um......though it might be difficult to explain poaching with a frying
pan. :(

Speaking Of Bears
 

"Kevin Vang" wrote in message
t...
How about this one:

Canadian College Student Kills Bear with Frying Pan


Bear breaks into house, attacks, but resident attacks back. Local animal
rights groups outraged.

VICTORIA, BC (PRWEB) May 26, 2004 -- In an attempt to get a free meal,
what was described as a "very large" bear broke into the rural homestead
of a BC college student, who was home on vacation at the time. The
SNIP

I don't think this story is true. Do a google search on "animal rights abuse
watch" or "northern kodiak bear". You'll only get refernces to this story.
The names of towns are mispelled. There is an implication the event took
place near Vicotria (it was investigated by an office of the Victoria Crime
Scene investigation Unit....why not say Victoria Police Services), and there
are no kodiak bears anywhere near Victoria.

Tim Lysyk