OT Humor for librarians
 

The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

--
Ken Fortenberry

Ken Fortenberry wrote:

The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

Thanks for the link. Pretty good stuff, except for the
stereotypical picture of the librarian with a bun, sensible shoes, etc.
That's sooo outdated. :-)

From the article:

If we English majors would make our voices heard and flood Congress
with angry sonnets

Claspy, get on it right away.


Chuck Vance

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

"...the reference librarian with the bun, the faint moustache on the upper
lip, the navy-blue knit dress, the sensible shoes, and the glasses on a
chain ..."

Uh oh. Um......Bill?.....you ARE bringing your own tent......right? :(

Wolfgang

Ken Fortenberry wrote:

The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

A more wickedly funny article, not by but about Keillor:

http://www.poems.com/keilaugu.htm

JR
(who does believe that every public building, not just libraries, should
have a Nap Room)

JR wrote:
Ken Fortenberry wrote:
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

A more wickedly funny article, not by but about Keillor:

http://www.poems.com/keilaugu.htm

Keillor may be "feeding us ****" as the article so eloquently
states it, but in Kentucky it's considered downright risque.

From the Times http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/15/arts/15arts.html


Keillor Uncensored

Two weeks after a Lexington, Ky., public radio station dropped it over
concerns that its content could incur indecency fines, "The Writer's
Almanac" returns today to the station's broadcast lineup, The Lexington
Herald-Leader reported on Saturday. The five-minute program, in which
the writer and radio host Garrison Keillor presents a roundup on
this-day-in-literary-history, was removed from WUKY's morning schedule
on Aug. 1 because of concerns that the word "breast" and the phrase "get
high" in the program's poetic recitations might be considered indecent.
In a Herald-Leader article published on Friday, the general manager of
the University of Kentucky station, Tom Godell, said of Mr. Keillor,
"It's not that he's behaving like Howard Stern, but the F.C.C. has been
so inconsistent, we don't know where we stand." The cancellation
initially prompted few complaints, but a deluge from listeners on Friday
apparently persuaded the station to reverse its decision that afternoon.


You just cannot make this **** up. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

"JR" wrote in message ...
Ken Fortenberry wrote:

The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

A more wickedly funny article, not by but about Keillor:

http://www.poems.com/keilaugu.htm

Humor is where you find it, I guess. One can hardly blame Mr. Kleinzahler
for engaging in a self-absorbed snit over the world's lamentable and
stubborn refusal to conform to his ideals (and, not so incidentally, pretty
much ingore him in the process) but stealing a page from B.R. Myers in the
process.......tsk, tsk.* :)

JR
(who does believe that every public building, not just libraries, should
have a Nap Room)

Amen.

Wolfgang
*and no, he can't be kennie!

That Goddammed mother-****er Keillor. Where the hell does he get off
using profanity like that . . .

Memphis Jim

(Ten months until I officially become MACHIAS Jim)



Ken Fortenberry wrote:
JR wrote:
Ken Fortenberry wrote:
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

A more wickedly funny article, not by but about Keillor:

http://www.poems.com/keilaugu.htm

Keillor may be "feeding us ****" as the article so eloquently
states it, but in Kentucky it's considered downright risque.

From the Times http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/15/arts/15arts.html


Keillor Uncensored

Two weeks after a Lexington, Ky., public radio station dropped it over
concerns that its content could incur indecency fines, "The Writer's
Almanac" returns today to the station's broadcast lineup, The Lexington
Herald-Leader reported on Saturday. The five-minute program, in which
the writer and radio host Garrison Keillor presents a roundup on
this-day-in-literary-history, was removed from WUKY's morning schedule
on Aug. 1 because of concerns that the word "breast" and the phrase "get
high" in the program's poetic recitations might be considered indecent.
In a Herald-Leader article published on Friday, the general manager of
the University of Kentucky station, Tom Godell, said of Mr. Keillor,
"It's not that he's behaving like Howard Stern, but the F.C.C. has been
so inconsistent, we don't know where we stand." The cancellation
initially prompted few complaints, but a deluge from listeners on Friday
apparently persuaded the station to reverse its decision that afternoon.


You just cannot make this **** up. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

Ignore that email address in the header. It's Memphis Jim Memhis Jm
Memphos JIom ARG!

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

--
Ken Fortenberry

I'm with him on the 10000 ft runway at Waseca. I flew in and out of there
often when I worked for Airfone in the early days. It would probably see a
lot of traffic, considering the huge outlet mall just down the road in
Owatonna. (Could relieve the congestion at Owatonna Municipal)

I also like the logic pertaining to libraries and terrorism. It's at least
as valid as any argument the government ever made.

Mark

"Mark W. Oots" mark_ctc@(no spam)ameritech.net wrote in message
t...

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

--
Ken Fortenberry

I'm with him on the 10000 ft runway at Waseca. I flew in and out of there
often when I worked for Airfone in the early days. It would probably see a
lot of traffic, considering the huge outlet mall just down the road in
Owatonna. (Could relieve the congestion at Owatonna Municipal)

I also like the logic pertaining to libraries and terrorism. It's at least
as valid as any argument the government ever made.

Au contraire, libraries are veritable hotbeds of sedition. Far from being
weapons in the fight against terrorism, they own the BOOK on it! That's
right boys and girls, every perversion, every heresy, every schism, every
treason, every apostasy, every abomination in the eyes of the Lord, every
act of terror, every subjugation, every tyranny, every murder, every foul
deed done in the dark of night, every infidelity, every betrayal of the
public trust, every felony, every perjury, every assault, every misdemeanor,
every crime against humanity, every little white lie, every malfeasance,
every cardinal sin, every genocide, every parricide, every matricide, every
regicide, every infanticide, every incest and self-pollution........you'll
find 'em right there at YOUR (tax supported!!) public library! :(

Wolfgang
who, having never gone near the place, confesses he has all this by
hearsay......but takes it pretty darn seriously nevertheless.

On Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:16:23 -0500, "Wolfgang"
wrote:


"Mark W. Oots" mark_ctc@(no spam)ameritech.net wrote in message
et...

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

--
Ken Fortenberry

I'm with him on the 10000 ft runway at Waseca. I flew in and out of there
often when I worked for Airfone in the early days. It would probably see a
lot of traffic, considering the huge outlet mall just down the road in
Owatonna. (Could relieve the congestion at Owatonna Municipal)

I also like the logic pertaining to libraries and terrorism. It's at least
as valid as any argument the government ever made.

Au contraire, libraries are veritable hotbeds of sedition. Far from being
weapons in the fight against terrorism, they own the BOOK on it! That's
right boys and girls, every perversion, every heresy, every schism, every
treason, every apostasy, every abomination in the eyes of the Lord, every
act of terror, every subjugation, every tyranny, every murder, every foul
deed done in the dark of night, every infidelity, every betrayal of the
public trust, every felony, every perjury, every assault, every misdemeanor,
every crime against humanity, every little white lie, every malfeasance,
every cardinal sin, every genocide, every parricide, every matricide, every
regicide, every infanticide, every incest and self-pollution........you'll
find 'em right there at YOUR (tax supported!!) public library! :(

Wolfgang
who, having never gone near the place, confesses he has all this by
hearsay......but takes it pretty darn seriously nevertheless.



Amen Brother!

Not to mention they are perfect examples of Creeping Socialism!


g.c.

Au contraire, libraries are veritable hotbeds of sedition. Far from being
weapons in the fight against terrorism, they own the BOOK on it! That's
right boys and girls, every perversion, every heresy, every schism, every
treason, every apostasy, every abomination in the eyes of the Lord, every
act of terror, every subjugation, every tyranny, every murder, every foul
deed done in the dark of night, every infidelity, every betrayal of the
public trust, every felony, every perjury, every assault, every misdemeanor,
every crime against humanity, every little white lie, every malfeasance,
every cardinal sin, every genocide, every parricide, every matricide, every
regicide, every infanticide, every incest and self-pollution........you'll
find 'em right there at YOUR (tax supported!!) public library! :(

Wolfgang

That ain't the half of it, Wolfgang; the Penn State Library subscribes
to Playboy!

vince
And they don't even have the decency to cut out the pictures!

"George Cleveland" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:16:23 -0500, "Wolfgang"
wrote:


"Mark W. Oots" mark_ctc@(no spam)ameritech.net wrote in message
. net...

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...,6563719.story

--
Ken Fortenberry

I'm with him on the 10000 ft runway at Waseca. I flew in and out of
there
often when I worked for Airfone in the early days. It would probably see
a
lot of traffic, considering the huge outlet mall just down the road in
Owatonna. (Could relieve the congestion at Owatonna Municipal)

I also like the logic pertaining to libraries and terrorism. It's at
least
as valid as any argument the government ever made.

Au contraire, libraries are veritable hotbeds of sedition. Far from being
weapons in the fight against terrorism, they own the BOOK on it! That's
right boys and girls, every perversion, every heresy, every schism, every
treason, every apostasy, every abomination in the eyes of the Lord, every
act of terror, every subjugation, every tyranny, every murder, every foul
deed done in the dark of night, every infidelity, every betrayal of the
public trust, every felony, every perjury, every assault, every
misdemeanor,
every crime against humanity, every little white lie, every malfeasance,
every cardinal sin, every genocide, every parricide, every matricide,
every
regicide, every infanticide, every incest and self-pollution........you'll
find 'em right there at YOUR (tax supported!!) public library! :(

Wolfgang
who, having never gone near the place, confesses he has all this by
hearsay......but takes it pretty darn seriously nevertheless.



Amen Brother!

Not to mention they are perfect examples of Creeping Socialism!

****in-A! Next thing you know, it'll be fire departments, police, public
parks, municipal water and sewage treatment, insurance, pensions, democratic
elections, vaccinations, fluoridation, pest control, girl scouts, courts,
garbage pickup, electrification, education of the ****ing masses, for God's
sake!.....WHERE WILL IT END??!! REGULATION OF BUSINESS??!!!! :(

Wolfgang
CREEPING? GALLOPING (or whatever the hell it is that mules do) IS MORE LIKE
IT!

"vincent p. norris" wrote in message
...

...the Penn State Library subscribes
to Playboy!

*******S! :(

vince
And they don't even have the decency to cut out the pictures!

Irrelevant......we only read the articles anyway.

Wolfgang

Wolfgang wrote:

"vincent p. norris" wrote in message
...

...the Penn State Library subscribes
to Playboy!

*******S! :(

vince
And they don't even have the decency to cut out the pictures!

Irrelevant......we only read the articles anyway.

I suspect a case could be made that the articles are just as obscene
as the pictures.


Chuck Vance (who only looks at the pictures ... honestly)

Wolfgang wrote:

Humor is where you find it, I guess. One can hardly blame Mr. Kleinzahler
for engaging in a self-absorbed snit over the world's lamentable and
stubborn refusal to conform to his ideals (and, not so incidentally, pretty
much ingore him in the process) but stealing a page from B.R. Myers in the
process.......tsk, tsk.* :)

I must admit that I enjoyed the image of Keillor being forcefed
Albert Ayler. In fact, I'd suggest that as a variation to your "Jackie
Mason/A Clockwork Orange torture".


Chuck Vance (who actually chooses to listen to Ayler on occasion,
but can imagine the effect it would have on Keillor)

"Conan The Librarian" wrote in message
...
Wolfgang wrote:

Humor is where you find it, I guess. One can hardly blame Mr.
Kleinzahler for engaging in a self-absorbed snit over the world's
lamentable and stubborn refusal to conform to his ideals (and, not so
incidentally, pretty much ingore him in the process) but stealing a page
from B.R. Myers in the process.......tsk, tsk.* :)

I must admit that I enjoyed the image of Keillor being forcefed Albert
Ayler. In fact, I'd suggest that as a variation to your "Jackie Mason/A
Clockwork Orange torture".


Chuck Vance (who actually chooses to listen to Ayler on occasion,
but can imagine the effect it would have on Keillor)

Hm......

Keillor, the man, may or may not bear a significant resemblance to Keillor,
the commodity. Back about fifteen years ago I went to a writers' workshop
called "The Rites of Writing" at UW, Stevens Point. In attendance was one
Alec Wilkinson, a staff writer for "New Yorker". This was at the same time,
or shortly after, Keillor's brief residence there. According to Wilkinson
(whom I and a couple of friends escorted on a whirlwind tour of Stevens
Point's hotspots one evening) Keillor was an arrogant and insufferable prick
who quickly earned the enmity of everyone else on the staff. To the best of
my knowledge, no one has ever suggested that he eats babies or sells
bootlegged copies of Nirvana's greatest hits, but.......... :)

Wolfgang

Wolfgang wrote:

... Back about fifteen years ago I went to a writers' workshop
called "The Rites of Writing" at UW, Stevens Point. In attendance was one
Alec Wilkinson, a staff writer for "New Yorker".

The second sentence indicates that the activity described
in the first sentence was a total waste of time.

... According to Wilkinson
(whom I and a couple of friends escorted on a whirlwind tour of Stevens
Point's hotspots one evening) Keillor was an arrogant and insufferable prick
who quickly earned the enmity of everyone else on the staff. ...

I've heard the same comment about the late Charles Kuralt,
so what ?

--
Ken Fortenberry

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
m...
Wolfgang wrote:

... Back about fifteen years ago I went to a writers' workshop called
"The Rites of Writing" at UW, Stevens Point. In attendance was one Alec
Wilkinson, a staff writer for "New Yorker".

The second sentence indicates that the activity described
in the first sentence was a total waste of time.

Refresh my memory......why was I there?

... According to Wilkinson (whom I and a couple of friends escorted on a
whirlwind tour of Stevens Point's hotspots one evening) Keillor was an
arrogant and insufferable prick who quickly earned the enmity of everyone
else on the staff. ...

I've heard the same comment about the late Charles Kuralt,

So what?

so what ?

So, you still can't be me. Get used to it.

Wolfgang

Wolfgang wrote:
snip
So, you still can't be me. Get used to it.

I still don't want to be older, shorter and uglier.
I still wouldn't want to go through all the dental
work you need even if you could afford it, and I
sure as hell don't want to be afflicted with a
pretentious and prolix prose style. So yeah, I'm
happily accustomed to not being you.

--
Ken Fortenberry

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
Wolfgang wrote:
snip So, you still can't be me. Get used to it.

I still don't want to be older, shorter and uglier.
I still wouldn't want to go through all the dental
work you need even if you could afford it, and I
sure as hell don't want to be afflicted with a
pretentious and prolix prose style. So yeah, I'm
happily accustomed to not being you.

Wow......I bet this is another one of your gonfalon better
zingers.......right?

Wolfgang
whose recovery might preclude participation in roff for a while.

Wolfgang wrote:

Hm......

Keillor, the man, may or may not bear a significant resemblance to Keillor,
the commodity. Back about fifteen years ago I went to a writers' workshop
called "The Rites of Writing" at UW, Stevens Point. In attendance was one
Alec Wilkinson, a staff writer for "New Yorker". This was at the same time,
or shortly after, Keillor's brief residence there. According to Wilkinson
(whom I and a couple of friends escorted on a whirlwind tour of Stevens
Point's hotspots one evening) Keillor was an arrogant and insufferable prick
who quickly earned the enmity of everyone else on the staff. To the best of
my knowledge, no one has ever suggested that he eats babies or sells
bootlegged copies of Nirvana's greatest hits, but.......... :)

It's not really surprising to me that he could be considered an
arrogant and insufferable prick. I forget who wrote it, but I read
someone describe him as "making a career out of smug condescension". I
thought it summed up his on-air persona very nicely.


Chuck Vance (not that there's anything wrong with that)

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...
//snip//
Keillor, the man, may or may not bear a significant resemblance to
Keillor, the commodity. Back about fifteen years ago I went to a writers'
workshop called "The Rites of Writing" at UW, Stevens Point. In
attendance was one Alec Wilkinson, a staff writer for "New Yorker". This
was at the same time, or shortly after, Keillor's brief residence there.
According to Wilkinson (whom I and a couple of friends escorted on a
whirlwind tour of Stevens Point's hotspots one evening) Keillor was an
arrogant and insufferable prick who quickly earned the enmity of everyone
else on the staff. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever suggested
that he eats babies or sells bootlegged copies of Nirvana's greatest hits,
but.......... :)


Some, who in person are arrogant and insufferable pricks,
write/sing/act/paint/etc. so well that many are entertained. Others, who
appear from their writings/speakings/etc. to be arrogant and insufferable
pricks, are actually pretty good people in person.
Bob

"Bob Patton" wrote in message
...
"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

...Keillor was an arrogant and insufferable prick who quickly earned the
enmity of everyone else on the staff....

Some, who in person are arrogant and insufferable pricks,
write/sing/act/paint/etc. so well that many are entertained.

I sometimes miss "A Prairie Home Companion" due to circumstances beyond my
control.......but not if I can help it.

Others, who appear from their writings/speakings/etc. to be arrogant and
insufferable pricks, are actually pretty good people in person.

Yah, we outnumbered him two to one......that don't mean ****!

Wolfgang
and, given the diet, he was in a weakened condition anyway. :)

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...
//snip//
Others, who appear from their writings/speakings/etc. to be arrogant and
insufferable pricks, are actually pretty good people in person.

Yah, we outnumbered him two to one......that don't mean ****!

Wolfgang
and, given the diet, he was in a weakened condition anyway. :)

The diet??? I figured it was because he was a fast-walking lawyer.

Bob
(wondering what motivates a lawyer to walk quickly)

On Thu, 18 Aug 2005 08:28:51 -0500, "Wolfgang"
wrote:

(snipped)

Keillor was an arrogant and insufferable prick
who quickly earned the enmity of everyone else on the staff. To the best of
my knowledge, no one has ever suggested that he eats babies or sells
bootlegged copies of Nirvana's greatest hits, but.......... :)

Wolfgang

It's the local Twin Cities opinion of everyone I've met who's known or
dealt with him, too. Some of them were sophisticated enough to
understand that the private man in the business is not the public
image, but they still didn't like the private man.


Cyli
r.bc: vixen. Minnow goddess. Speaker to squirrels.
Often taunted by trout. Almost entirely harmless.

http://www.visi.com/~cyli
email: lid (strip the .invalid to email)

Ken Fortenberry wrote:
Wolfgang wrote:

snip So, you still can't be me. Get used to it.


I still don't want to be older, shorter and uglier.
I still wouldn't want to go through all the dental
work you need even if you could afford it, and I
sure as hell don't want to be afflicted with a
pretentious and prolix prose style. So yeah, I'm
happily accustomed to not being you.


Aren't you sometimes tempted to pass along second-hand gossip as God's
Truth, under the pretext of advertising your attendance at a "Writer's
Workshop"?

--
Cut "to the chase" for my email address.

Wolfgang wrote:

I sometimes miss "A Prairie Home Companion" due to circumstances beyond my
control.......but not if I can help it.

Ironically, I listen to it on an almost weekly basis. I've found it
to be a pleasant background for puttering around in the "shop". (Except
for the "joke show"; I can't stomach that one.)

But that doesn't stop me from thinking he's overly smug and
condescending. :-)


Chuck Vance

"rw" wrote in message
m...

Aren't you sometimes tempted to pass along second-hand gossip as God's
Truth, under the pretext of advertising your attendance at a "Writer's
Workshop"?

Don't bother. ALL of my observations here are God's Truth. Any
disagreement is just plain wrong......and merely serves to make the author
look stupid. Agreement, needless to say, is superfluous......inviting
comparison with a tool.

Wouldn't you agree?

Wolfgang
who considers stevie one of his best (because most consistent) creations.

On 8/17/05 9:12 AM, in article , "Conan The
Librarian" wrote:

Ken Fortenberry wrote:

The Tribune has started running a Garrison Keillor
piece once a week. This one's pretty funny.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/o...0,6563719.stor
y

Thanks for the link. Pretty good stuff, except for the
stereotypical picture of the librarian with a bun, sensible shoes, etc.

Boy are YOU going to be surprised when you make it to a clave...

:-)


From the article:

If we English majors would make our voices heard and flood Congress
with angry sonnets

Claspy, get on it right away.

Thank goodness I'm on vacation, this is going to take some time...

B

On 8/17/05 9:18 AM, in article , "Wolfgang"
wrote:


"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...


http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chi-0508170016aug17,0,6563719.stor
y

"...the reference librarian with the bun, the faint moustache on the upper
lip, the navy-blue knit dress, the sensible shoes, and the glasses on a
chain ..."

Uh oh. Um......Bill?.....you ARE bringing your own tent......right? :(

Yep, and this time I'll even set it up on the first night :-)

B

(Willi's not coming, is he?)

"William Claspy" wrote in message
...
On 8/17/05 9:18 AM, in article , "Wolfgang"
wrote:


Uh oh. Um......Bill?.....you ARE bringing your own tent......right?
:(

Yep, and this time I'll even set it up on the first night :-)

Might not have to. Depending on just when and where we meet, we may or may
not be staying at Fisher's shack.

B

(Willi's not coming, is he?)

Hm........let's see......I'm going to be there......so......um......I'm
guessing maybe not. :)

Wolfgang
don't pity me because i'm beautiful.

"Conan The Librarian" wrote in message
...
Wolfgang wrote:

I sometimes miss "A Prairie Home Companion" due to circumstances beyond
my control.......but not if I can help it.

Ironically, I listen to it on an almost weekly basis. I've found it to
be a pleasant background for puttering around in the "shop". (Except for
the "joke show"; I can't stomach that one.)

I think it's a hoot and a half when Paula Poundstone AND Roy Blount Jr. are
on. A few weeks ago they did a repeat performance of last year's joke
show.......no Roy. :(

But that doesn't stop me from thinking he's overly smug and
condescending. :-)

Define "overly". :)

Wolfgang
who knows that smug is every bit as easy as contemptuous......condescending
takes practice.

Wolfgang wrote:

"Conan The Librarian" wrote in message
...

[Garrison Keillor]

But that doesn't stop me from thinking he's overly smug and
condescending. :-)

Define "overly". :)

Touche.

Wolfgang
who knows that smug is every bit as easy as contemptuous......condescending
takes practice.

Well, he's certainly had plenty of that. :-)


Chuck Vance