C.D.C. report
 

Subject: Center for Disease Control


The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted
disease.

This disease is contracted through dangerous and
high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea
Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many
victims have contracted it after having been screwed
for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken
measures to protect themselves from
this especially troublesome disease. Cognitive
sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea
Lectim include, but are not limited to:

Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions
of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic
mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive
dissonance; inability to incorporate new information;
pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept
responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice
masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled
facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history;
tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing
behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and
epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this
malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a
Texas bush.

--
Hike High Mountains
Fish for Wild Trout