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-   -   OT, but for those thinking about losing weight... :-} (http://www.fishingbanter.com/showthread.php?t=23185)

Frank Church August 5th, 2006 01:26 PM

OT, but for those thinking about losing weight... :-}
 
The Purina Diet Story (from a friend)

I have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.




Stan Gula August 5th, 2006 04:58 PM

OT, but for those thinking about losing weight... :-}
 

"Frank Church" wrote in message
news:j80Bg.1628$rd1.533@trnddc01...
The Purina Diet Story (from a friend)


That sure is making the rounds. I wish you hadn't posted it here because I
was planning on souping it up and using it as my owng.

That line where the woman asks if he has a dog hits close to home. Since my
Mom died I've been taking care of my Dad who has a bit of aphasia and
distorted time sense since he has a small stroke a few years ago. I have
to patiently deal with setups like that several times a day - I figure I'm
improving my chances of being reincarnated as something better than a slime
mold.




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