Meat from diseased animals approved for consumers aka Derek Moody shows us how to approach our local doner kebab operative (hilarious must read)
 

On Sat, 6 Oct 2007 10:55:19 +0100, Derek Moody
wrote:

In article , Steve Firth
wrote:
Edward wrote:

cylinder of meat rotating in front of the gas flame. I wondered what
sort of meat that was. It didn't seem to be any sort of natural cut but
more like a compressed block of meat. Anyone know what I was looking
at?

Think meatloaf on a stick and you won't be far off.

Nothing like it.

kebab meat. They simply plastered more meat over the old slab each day
"because the customers don't like it when you're down to a thin strip."
The problem being that the core of the meat never got used or changed.

You see variants in all late night convenience food trade :-(

In a way it's understandable - not that I'm condoning the practice.

Just think:
The main trade is late - after midnight.
Almost all the customers are too drunk to know what they're eating
and never make any coherent complaints.
The staff must be willing (desperate) to work the hours and deal
with obnoxious customers.

Do you expect first class staff who will respect the customers and be
keen to turn out a gourmet product?

Of course.

If you -do- find yourself needing to eat out late, it's worth going into a
place that's also open earlier in the day and asking to speak to the
chef (you're letting him see you're not one of the drunks). Ask him what he
recommends - give him a fairly wide remit - and ask him what you should have
with it.

Ha ha you obviously don't get out much at night. You're clueless. Try
that in London and you'll probably be skewered for the next days
kebabs, and that's before the customers from behind sort you out!

What you will get -is- something he wants to get rid of - but it won't be
the rubbish he's dumping on the drunken rabble and it will be prepared
with more care. If you might be going back make an honest comment on the
food (he knows exactly how good it is) and leave an appropriate tip.

Cuckoo, cuckoo.

Hope you don't mind if I pass this on to a few of the lads?