BREAKING NEWS -- Obama's Health Care Reform Now Assured
 

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) -- Passage
of President Obama's entire health-care reform
package seems assured after 52 Blue Dog
Democrats were eaten by piranha at a medical
industry cocktail/swim party last night.

"Some Son of a Bitch apparently had rubbed
canned tuna inside their bathing suits before
the Blue Dogs put them on,, then released
dozens and dozens of hungry fishes to enjoy
a happy meal," said police Lt. Ronald McDonald.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxw1E...eature=related

Father Guido Sarducci, former chaplain on
Saturday Night Live but now a lifeguard for
a pharmaceutical company, witnessed the
smorgasboard and said it was "just awful." He
actually puked during an interview with the
White House press corps.

http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
Father Guido Sarducci shows the size of some of the piranha

"Within seconds, the bluish water turned rosy
red and there was all kinds of splashing and
screaming in agony," he said. "Then all kinds
of body parts began surfacing -- arms, legs,
toes, even flaccid penises. It wasn't very
pleasant."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuW3bdsoRV0&NR=1

The cocktail/swim party reportedly was supposed
to be the Blue Dogs' last get-together before
giving Obama and John Q. Public a royal screwing
on health-care reform.

The only legislator to be identified so far from
bits and pieces was Rep. Mike Ross of Arkansas,
who had been the guest of honor at seven
fund-raisers sponsored by major corporations or
their lobbyists this year.

http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/C...OD2F 8lfl.jpg
Rep. Mike Ross

The broiling debate about health-care reform
had been a pocket-filling bonanza to the
Blue Dogs, who had become key brokers
in shaping legislation that adversely affects
low and middle-income families and is intended
to continue to assure astronomical profits for
corporations.

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While waiting for the updates, you
might want to take a peak at
http://www.edconrad.com