1) You just moved into a new house

Tell the wife you need to go to Home depot for wire for the transflux
capicitator

2) You threw your boat into the garage a month ago
Tell the wife there's no such thing as a transflux capicitator and that
you were checking out the local strip club.. she will throw the boat right
out of the garage!!

3) You have no clue where your rods, reels & tackle are

Have you checked e-bay? wives are good at that

4) You've done no preseason maintanence on your boat or tackle.

Is that a requirment?

5) Your first tournament is in 13 days, 11 of which you'll be working 12
hour shifts.

still leaves you two days..your a glass is half empty kinda guy ain't ya?

6) Harry Thundercat is your backseater in that tournament.

My apologies, he's scratching like a dog with flees to be casting off the
back of a boat