Crack a beer, take a belt of booze and turn on the coffee maker (empty and
with carafe removed.

Place two slices of bread on the coffee warmer, one on top of the other and
finish your beer while waiting for the first side to get toasted.

When beer is finished flip both slices over, we are toasting the outsides.

After flipping, open another beer and have another shot.

When beer is finished, put the toasted sides together and begin the toasting
process again, repeating the beers and shots at each stage of the operation.

This part is critical, the first two sides which were toasted, and are now
on the inside will have been somewhat softened by the moisture of the bread.
Repeat the first step with the first two toasted sides.

By this time you should be able to take somewhat larger shots of booze. Take
them.

Slice onion and harvarti cheese. Take a shot. Drink beer as necessary.

Place three slices hard salami and one slice bologna on a slice of bread.
Garnish with cheese and onion. Add mayo to remaining slice of bread and
place on sandwich.

Microwave for thirty seconds or until cheese is melted.

Crack another cold beer and enjoy.