I was a lot like you: carefree, happy and blissful. This was before my
life took a tragic turn, a turn which I sense you are on the verge of
taking. There is no help for me, unfortunately, but perhaps my story
will prevent you from falling into the abyss into which I have been
thrown.

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and
then, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone. To relax, I told myself, even though I knew it
wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally, I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
so I could read Kafka and Thoreau. I would return to the office dizzied
and confused, asking, "What IS it exactly we are doing here?".

Things weren't going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned
off the TV, and asked my wife "What is the meaning of life?". She spent
the night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day, the boss called me
in and said "I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
has become a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job". This gave
me a lot to think about!

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking".

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."

"But honey, surely it's not that serious!"

"It is serious", she said, her lower lip quivering. "You think as much
as college professors, and college professors don't make any money. So
if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism!" I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library", I snarled, and stomped out
the door. I headed out to the library in the mood for some Nitzche and
NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe a
higher power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the
ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathrustra, a poster caught my eye.

"FRIEND, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably
recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous (TA)
poster. Which is why I am what I am
today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last
meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life
just seems...easier, somehow, as soon as I stop thinking.