This is the best revenge I've heard from the man's point of view in the
Mars-Venus wars. It's so logical. The problem is, the man won the battle
but will he win the war?

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?? What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her she should take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went into the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for
a tennis bracel et when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation
she finally said, "I think this is all, dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"

I then said, "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.