Nothin like ringing in the New Year with a totally inappropriate thread for
this newsgroup.

Bah Humbug...

Warren

"johnval1" wrote in message
m...

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided
we're leaving.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

Ken Lay died last July. His conviction was vacated. There was no Corpus
to Habeus.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

Gee Ken, what was left of WorldCom was sold off to Verizon last January.
It is not part of MCI any longer.


We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.


Best looking women in the world go to Ole' Miss. I've seen the gals at
Harvard. I think your population replacement rates are going to implode.


We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama.


Alabama may be the best BassFishin' state in the country.


We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay
their fair share.


Won't have to pay many taxes once we get rid of all those pinko social
programs.



With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of
all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

Golly Ken, please don't go. I can't stand to lose access to all that
wonderful pineapple and lettuce. You can also forget the water resources.
I have already organized insurgency cells to take control of the Great
Lakes. It is well demonstrated that Libs cannot deal with any armed
conflict so the resident Libs in this area will cut and run to the
coast(s) as soon as we light up a few.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico.

This explains quite a bit actually.

Ken, didn't take much for ol' Rodney to hook you up good. Merry
Christmas.