On Feb 18, 11:19 am, " wrote:
On Feb 18, 12:22 am, "Steve Cain" wrote:

The boy is sick.

as usual, your prose is beautifully crafted. still, i can't
refrain from voicing my opinion that the narrative itself, the frame
for your imagery, is less defined and confined than it ought to be,
for my taste. not a fatal flaw, certainly; but i kept wondering, as i
read, why this trip? what good does it do the child? why the need
for the artifice of the father talking to a seven month old while the
latter is unconscious?

no matter. as i recognize, and as everyone else has
acknowledged, it is a wonderful, dreamlike collection of images, and
is probably not intended to be more or less than that.


You're spot on.

I originally intended to tell about the bits of our lives we've played
out along the river as remembered on a gray winter afternoon. As an
experiment, (and because an infant really does consume your life for a
time) instead of narrating to the audience directly, I wanted to
narrate by telling the story to Henry and have the audience listen in.
Because I never really got the time to finish the story the way I
wanted, I tried to cap it in a reasonable fashion. I have my notes for
the longer version, and perhaps when the Henry needs less-than-
constant attention and my job is a little less demanding and I finish
my PE, I'll revisit and rewrite.

Still, thanks to all. I'm glad you enjoyed it. One day, I'll take him
fishing.

Steve