Thread: New Years Diet
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Old December 23rd, 2007, 01:42 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Opus--Mark H. Bowen
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Default New Years Diet


"W. D. Grey" wrote in message
...
In article
, Frank
Reid writes
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.


When I stop laughing at the image of you sitting in the street performing
your canine ablutions, I shall continue to the next posting :-)
--
Bill Grey


Don't encourage him Bill, he does this same thing every year.

He eats the dog food, sits in the street, licks himself, and ends up in the
hospital! You'd think a man his age would learn better than to lick himself
in the middle of a thoroughfare, and do such on his couch like any
self-respecting, decent human-canine aberant.

Op