Frank writes:
much gore and agony snipped
I get a
fun ambulance ride to the local emergency room over cobblestone streets and
then get pumped full of narcotics and muscle relaxers.

My friend, these incidents happen too frequently to simply put off to mere
chance. I think you are purposely pulling these stunts in order to get the
narcotics and muscle relaxants. For God's sake, man, just order the crap over
the internet or hook up with Linbaugh's people!! At this rate, I'm going to
have to drive you to the handicapped access fishing area at Poe Lake during the
clave next year. Of course, that would involve a bumpy ride in the Fabulous
Fishing Car, so pack extra narcotics!
dibs on the yellow ones,
Tom