As I get older my hair gets thinner and thinner, to the point where it
now just flops around in the slightest breeze.

I was thinkin' it might be time to start using hair spray. *What brand
do youse guys favor? *And, does it work well?

Don't use it unless I'm making a flame thrower for black widows.
I've found that though the hair on top gets thinner, the hair in the
ears gets thicker. Let it go for a couple of months and then do a
comb over. Bobs your uncle, you've a new doo complete with self
applications of aural gel.
Frank Reid