wrote in message
news
BUZZ "Mr. Mueller, there's a Mr. Connor on line 63 for you, sir..."

"Who...?"

"He says his name is Herr Michael Connor and he's an
internationally-known flyfishing expert..."

"Huh...oh, wait...I'll take it...:"

"Darth, you ol' *******, what's the joke...?"

"Darth? Who's Darth? This is Mike Connor and my reputation has been
ruined!"

"Wha...?"

"That's right, dumbo, ruined! Don't you mother****ing ****bags speak
English over there?!"

"Look, pal, I'm busy..."

"Me too, me too...I'm sure my website got 100,000 hits, but the numbers
only show about 17..."

Director Mueller hits the mute button

"Miss Jones, trace this call and send the rubber truck squad to the
address, please..."

He releases the mute button

"OK, OK, calm down and tell me all about it..."

"Well, that's more like it, ****bag! First, there's Fortenberry, who
called me a loony, and there's Littleton, who suggested I see a shrink,
oh, and there's that Dean ******* - he said I wear lederhosen and..."

"What?"

"What, what?"

"Did you say 'lighted hoses'?"

"NO, YOU STUPID MOTHER****ING DUMBO, I SAID LEDERHOSEN! LEATHER ****IN'
SHORTS WITH BRACES! The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews, Do Re Mi, you
****bag! Don't you stupid Americans know anything?!"

"Oh..."

"So anyway, this Dean ******* said I wear lederhosen at the train
station to get George Michael's attention, and then, there's Fred..."

"Yeah, there would be...so what did this Fred do?"

"He EMAILED me!"

"And what did he say?"

"I don't know. It's gibberish and I can't understand it, but I'm sure
it will ruin my reputation, so I posted it online..."

click

and thus ends Scene One, Act One of ROFFian Playhouse's production of
"The Nutcase Always Rings Twice," starring Mike Connor and
guest-starring Robert Mueller as the irritated FBI Director.


......Act Two starts with a flashback scene, with a way-too-serious young lad
yells obscenties at his schoolmates, who tease him mercilessly and laugh at
his little fits of rage...
Tom