On Jan 5, 10:41*am, Frank Reid © 2008 wrote:

I think the scale of weddings has some regional differences. When I
was a kid in NJ weddings were major financial events, with debt, casts
of many etc.. Ditto with some of the ethnic and religious celebrations
keyed to the stages of life. Even working people spent big time. Never
made sense to me. In Utah wedding centered on the church and were more
community supported.

Here in Western Wa., seems the folk who go that way are often
newcomers. I live in an affluent area, but the mode here is more
homemade. The circle we travel in tends to be glued together by the
women. The women get together and pitch in, on flowers, food, etc etc.
Music is modest and local. The "minister" is just as often shamanic
and or mail order. The locations tend to be rented community halls,
chapels on ex-military bases etc... The best wedding I can remember
food wise was fueled by a pickup truck load of fresh crab just down
from Alaska contributed by a guy who just made a lot of moola coming
up with a use for scrap cedar. Salmon is almost always on the menu but
the commercial fishers are fewer as the years pass. I think my last
kid's wedding cost us about 5k plus 5K as a gift. Cash gifts are
common.

You might consider asking around as to what the local mores are.
Particularly if one or both of the kids are natives of the area.
Sometimes homespun and "plain" have more local cache among local well
off folks, than . . . .

Dave
Good luck. The best advice I have is just stay out of the women's way.