On Sun, 11 Jan 2009 15:04:40 -0800 (PST), rb608
wrote:

Having never served in the military, I can only see that world from
the outside. The fraternity of brothers in arms is obviously a
special one, and I respect that. However, the death of our friend
recently seemed to begin an affectation of admiration and respect
among some of his other, younger friends and family; and it is that
which is the subject of this question/discussion.

Brian was a helluva good guy and by any measure, a true patriot. He
served at least three tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, earned a couple
of Bronze Stars, and although not being career Army (National Guard),
he was a soldier's soldier. He was widely and deeply admired by his
closer friends (and I do not count myself among that inner circle),
and in their desire to honor him, they have on occasion taken to
wearing military style camo clothing, including to his memorial
service. Only one or two of this group ever served in uniform.

Because I have not served, I absolutely would not feel comfortable
donning such a costume. In fact, despite my deep appreciation and
respect for the man, I do not even feel I have the right to offer so
much as a salute. I'm not a soldier. I haven't earned it.

It has nothing to do with YOU "earning" any "right" (at least in the way
you seem to mean) - you are not in the military and therefore, there is
no relationship for you to salute superiors and/or their rank/commission
with a military salute. If these guys are going around saluting each
other, covered or not, inside or out, or his casket, it's not
"offensive," it's just silly but harmless in the case of each other,
and, I guess respectful, but meaningless militarily, in the case of his
casket.

So for you present & past military: Is this pretend soldier stuff
respectful/disrespectful? Weird? Amusing? To me, it just seems
wrong for an insurance salesman e.g. to dress up like something he
never was, even as a sign of respect. Is it just good fun with the
best of intentions? Am I overthinking this?

Joe F.

Why look for offenses when you yourself claim that you believe it all to
be respectful? From what you describe, these guys aren't wearing
awards, decorations, insignia, badges, tabs, etc. You don't state
whether it is even actual current-issue patterns/uniform pieces - it's
"_military style_ camo." Moreover, you state that one or two of the
group did serve, and if they aren't offended, it would seem that is
that. For me and speaking in general terms, even a Bob Howard wearing
"military style camo" to a funeral, memorial service, etc. would be,
well, I guess "inappropriate" would be the word I'd use, but
"offensive," no, not unless there was some offense intended.

HTH,
R