On Fri, 6 Mar 2009 17:28:36 -0800 (PST), DaveS wrote:

On Mar 6, 5:09*pm, "Calif Bill" wrote:
"Frank Reid © 2008" wrote in ...

You can disable a "court ordered tracking bracelet" with a taser.
Frank Reid

Mumu bought a 100,000-volt pocket-sized taser as a gift for his wife.
Because it uses just 3 AAA batteries, he thought he could give himself a
test jolt without suffering too much. He was mistaken.
* The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a
major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make
your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
* ...Reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing
couldn't hurt all that bad....I decided to give myself a one-second burst
just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the
button, and ... HOLY MOTHER ..WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION...@!@$$!%!@*!!!

* I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and
over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making
meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly
thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again!"

Funnyest Post of the Day Award.

Um, while did you were gettin' all that economical-like education in Utah, did
they offer any spelling classes...

Help? Oh, I think so,
R
Dave