I said, "I don't think I can drink any more of this" as I
pushed a half full bottle of Budweiser toward the center
of the table. Herself started rummaging through her purse,
"What are you doing ?" I asked. She deadpanned, "I've been
there for your biopsy, your operations and your chemo and
I've never once been worried about you, but when you walk
away from half a Budweiser it's time to call 911."

Yeah, yeah, very funny.

I had the beer cheese soup. "What on earth were you thinking ?"
asked herself. "Terroir, when in Rome, yada, yada ..." I
replied. "Do you know what's in there ?" she asked. "Sure, it's
a balanced Wisconsin meal with all four of the major Wisconsin
food groups, cheese, beer, sausage and cheese."

Anyway, one of the qualities of beer cheese soup is its ability
to fill you up. There is a chemical reaction when the enzymes
in the cheese, sausage grease, and beer meets stomach acid that
is not unlike the chemical reaction in the junior high volcano
trick. One teaspoon of beer cheese soup will create enough greasy,
gaseous, quick-hardening, semi-soft bulk to fill one mile of
intestines. This is a handy trick if you are like many cheeseheads
and have many miles of intestines hanging over your size 48 belt.
If you are of more normal proportions, and you are stupid enough
to eat the whole damn bowl the results are anything but handy.

I got up from the table, slowly, grabbed the half bottle of Bud,
just in case, and waddled back to the room to watch the last of
the Cubs and Brewers game. That being the last night of vacation,
I'm typing this at home.

Time to take "wild dog of the north" out and teach her some hunting
tricks.

--
Ken Fortenberry