On Jan 18, 8:45*am, Frank Reid © 2008 wrote:


So, you're saying that the gods are NOT responsible for me accidently
putting cocktail sauce on my tamales instead of salsa.

Depends on whether we're talking about any one or more of them being
charged with the responsibility of seeing to it that you accidentally
put cocktail sauce on your tamales instead of salsa or, instead, about
whether any one or more of them can be held accountable for having
made you do it. If the former, it's irrelevant because you just can't
make 'em live up to the terms of their contracts. If the latter, it's
irrelevant because culpability carries no enforceable consequences.

There had to
be some godly role in making both the salsa and cocktail sauce
containers identical.

Probably. But in all likelihood it wasn't intentional. Hell, they
can't tell sherry from amontillado. This is what comes of living on
burnt offerings, chicken guts, incense, infants, etc. Odds are they
just slather on heaps of whatever they can find to drown out the
flavor of the main course and never stop to look at the label.

I know they're busy and all that, but these
were good tamales.

I feel your pain, man. A tamale is a terrible thing to waste. But
they're immune to prosecution. Throughout the history of the world
(well, the first part, anyway) it has always been true that it's good
to be the king.

One of them has to have the job of looking out for
good food and taking care of it so the waiter doesn't spill it or the
top doesn't come off the salt shaker.

Of course, but which one? And what do you do when you find out? Call
him/her/it on the phone? All you get is some incomprehensible tech in
Sri Lanka or Pakistan (that is, in the unlikely event that you
actually do eventually get through to something bearing a reasonable
resemblence to a human being) who will, in the fulness of time, direct
you through a series of gyrations that will inevitably trash your
entire pantry.....and melt down your motherboard as well.

Aside from "being," they do have jobs, right?

No one has yet demonstrated that there's any good reason to be sure
about that. We rest content in the certain knowledge that at least
the continued existence of the question ensures that philosophers and
theologians will remain gainfully (if not necessarily usefully)
employed.

Which one to I poke to make this freezing fog that
has enveloped my house for the last six days go away?

No way to know. Just poke one and see what happens. Then poke
another.....and another.....

Iffin they're
not causing earthquakes, what are they doing? *Making Brittney Spears
movies?

Well, if they're doing that, they will most certainly run afoul of the
devils' union.

giles