"JR" wrote in message
...
Mark Bowen wrote:
"JR" wrote in message
...
As "reported" by Lily Coyle in the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the
shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people
when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally
humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you
put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they
first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth,
fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean
nothing. And that was before the earthquake.

Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going
with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night
clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not
my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings --
just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.
Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we
may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan


- JR

JR,

I am lifting your letter from Satan to Pat for my Pat Robertson is a
psychopath Facebook page--I hope you don't mind, much.

Op, It's Lily Coyne's letter from the Minneapolis paper. Just put a link,
maybe:

http://www.startribune.com/opinion/l.../81595442.html

Thanks JR, Done is done.

Op