"Charlie Choc" schrieb im
Newsbeitrag ...
On Fri, 2 Jan 2004 21:12:27 +0100, "Mike Connor"
wrote:

If I were you, I would leave out the bloody tofu as well! Fairly shot,
or
otherwise!

Many of the meals I had in Japan included a cube of tofu. When I was
done eating, the tofu had not been disturbed in any way. g
--
Charlie...

Too right Charlie! I am in any case immediately suspicious of anything
which comes in "cubes", unless I have diced it myself!

Some years ago now, I had the doubtful but nevertheless vastly amusing,
indeed one might say abiding, pleasure of eating a "gourmet meal" in a very
"high class" restaurant, which shall remain nameless, in order to protect
the guilty.

The meal was memorable, indeed it is indelibly stamped in my memory. The
food was ****, but the meal was absolutely wonderful! Nevertheless, I
still thank my stars that my erstwhile employer actually paid the bill,
which was booked to my company credit card. I have it framed in a drawer
somewhere, as a constant tribute and reminder to the final fragility and
futility of human endeavour.

My company decided to invite all the technical managers and all the
technicians to a really good meal. ( Translation; "Really good"=
"ridiculously expensive"). All the guys were flown in from all over the
place. First class of course!

Several highlights of this unique experience come to mind.

Our worthy Dutch incumbent drank the finger bowl, and then asked for another
one, with an extra slice of lemon!

We were served with "Hechtbaellchen in Dillsoese". The then technical
manager for England asked for a translation, and upon being told that this
was "Pike balls in Dill sauce", expressed his disgust by saying "You mean
they cut the balls off just for this ****?". ( Obviously not an angler!).

Several of the assembled company were not at all "au fait" with the current
trends in "high society", and by about ten o´ clock in the evening, ( the
"meal" started at 20.00 hrs), were rather more than three sheets to the
wind.

This resulted in them asking for what they wanted, rather than asking for
what others might think they should order, or the most expensive item they
could find, presumably in the forlorn hope that it would be "good".

One can immediately tell when one is in a five star hotel ( even though this
experience might be a very seldom occurrence), when somebody asks for a
"Portion of chips with ketchup", and the waiter does not even blink. ( In
lesser establishments, the waiter raises at least an eyebrow!).

When one is served with freshly pressed orange juice, and the reaction is,
"Have you got any "Fanta", this stuff tastes watery, and there´s no bubbles
in it".

"French fries? What´s that, are there snails in it?. I ´m not eating any of
that slimey continental crap".

"****ing hell, I have not seen so many forks and spoons since my sister got
married!".

I made copious notes in my hotel room afterwards, shortly before my room was
invaded and the mini-bar plundered. It was a really succesful evening!

Having been self-employed for quite a number of years now, and indeed in the
meantime a "pensioner" as it were. There are some things I will always miss!

Even after all this time, I can not help occasionally engaging in pleasant
speculatory conjecture, what would have happened if they had served tofu
cubes and sushi? I reckon the fifteen mini-bars would have been empty
anyway!

Which reminds me of another most enjoyable experience at an "Empfang" in a
top Hamburg hotel, with the then American Ambassador, Richard Burt. My guys
all trooped in, amd sat at their appointed places. After interminable
speeches, the first course was served. This was raw cod slices in "American
Dressing" ( Admittedly a most unfortunate combination).

My chief technician at the time was moved to remark, at what he thought was
"sotto voce", but in reality was more like "fortissimo", "**** me gently".
"You´ld think a good restaurant would know how to cook a bit of bloody
fish!".

TL
MC