says...
You really deserve a better answer than that, Warren, so here it is.

I know what you were getting at but was already two steps ahead of you.
See below.

Apologizing on ROFF is very easy. It's not dissimilar from jumping the
queue into the National Guard -- a free ticket out of jail. Apologizing
FOUR TIMES for EXACTLY the same thing must get easier with each
repetition. I don't want Dave's apologies. They may be numerous, but
they aren't sincere, and their sincerity seems to decrease with each
repetition. I want him to think before he posts, and before he insults
not me, which doesn't bother me, but before he insults proven patriots
and heroes who happen to disagree with his political opinions.

Yes, but you only propagate the tension by voicing such ideas and not
forgiving. That could be exactly what you think, but saying so may not
be the best course of action. Dave made an apology to you. Did your
response of essentially "don't bother. You've done it before and so I
basically don't accept" do more harm or good? Or would have something
along the lines of "No problem Dave. Thanks for taking the time to
apologize" been more appropriate? I see one as merely putting a person
back on the defensive and only leading to more problems in the future
while the latter deescalates the situation.

By holding a grudge you are in essence limiting the possible actions of
the other party down the road and only contributing to future conflicts.
The later eases tensions which may alleviate some of the tensions that
you hold that keep you from "liking" the other person. Very different
from the scenario that I gave you the other night on the phone IMO.
--
Warren
(use troutbum_mt (at) yahoo to reply via email)
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