It turns out that Bob Schieffer was wired during the debates. A
audience member planted by the Cabal had tape recorder secreted on their
person, and picked up this exchange between good ol' Bob and a couple of
attendees:

Schieffer: DUDE! This debate stuff is really lame. I loaded up on
Captain Morgan and X before I got here, and even with a bitchin' load
on, these two seem like a couple of major buzz-harshers. Anybody got
anything - schwag, anything?

Jenna: Really, dude...this stuff is way, like, snoozeville...Babs and I
have the keys to minibar and hookup to some really excellent stuff from
the Chi-Os here. We're gonna ditch the earplug brigade, head to the
suite and get righteous - you wanna hang out?

Teresa: Yo, chicks - can I crash? If I have to listen to another night
of "I tried to tell 'em John Edwards and I have a plan...," I'm gonna
shove a case of steak sauce up ol' Frankenstein's ass...I got some down
and dirty on Michael Moore and a DVD of Paris' latest suckorama..."

Barbara: Sure, chick...Vanny and Alex got ahold of some outrageous weed
and a case of Tait and we're gonna shake it like a Polaroid...

Alex: D-a-a-a-m-n, Babs...like go and tell the authorities,
whydoncha...

Teresa: Oh, don't worry...I'm cool...

Vanny: That's not what Daddy says...

Jenna: I know what you mean...ever since our daddy found Jesus, he's
been a major buzzkill...

Schieffer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, both daddies are L7...let's blow this
borefest and ki-i-i-c-k it - I got a CBS blackspress that I can wear the
digits off of...

Teresa: Dude! Lets do dis thang...