Ralph from Ohio was on holiday in London and thought he would
skip the afternoon tour and explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping
at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads,
and have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class
neighbourhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores,
no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public restrooms.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and
all that trouble with his prostate.

Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the
adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his
problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London
bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do
that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "but I really, really
HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."

He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a
gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobbie. "Whiz away,
anywhere you want."

Ralph enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains,
sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in
perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is
greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was
really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British
hospitality'?"

"No sir," replied the bobbie, "that is what we call the French
Embassy."