Dear President Bush

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
you, and understand why you would propose and support
a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.
As you said, "in the eyes of God, marriage is based
between a man and a woman." I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example,
I simply remind them that Leviticus18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow
them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves,
both male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness -
Lev.15: 19-24.The problem is how do I tell? I have
tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -
Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the
odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2clearly states he should be put to
death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or
should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of
abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though
this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should
they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife, by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and
thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so
I am confident you can help. Thank you again for
reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Yours in God,

Harry

you know, I voted for GW (the lesser of 2 evils) but its freaks like this
that are an embarrassment to common sense.

a cross topic post with this sort of crap is counter productive
to -whoevers- cause.

--
flies from $5.60 per DOZEN!
Rods/Reels and Gear
www.fly-fishing-flies.com

Sprattoo wrote:
you know, I voted for GW (the lesser of 2 evils) but its freaks like this
that are an embarrassment to common sense. ...

Pointing out the hypocrisies of the fundamentalist bible
thumpers, using their own text, is not an embarrassment,
it's an exercise in hilarity. And it played well on the
TV show _The West Wing_ too.

--
Ken Fortenberry