TR: Salmon R, the Dad angle

Three days on the Salmon River is my annual trip with my fishing buddy and
friend, Craig; and this year marked a rite of passage for my son, who joined
me on the trip for the first time. For the months leading up to the trip,
I've been anguishing over how he would enjoy giving up the non-stop action
of video games for two days of patiently standing in cold water. Up until
now, he hasn't shown any interest at all in the sport. "Hey, I'm goin'
fishing, wanna go along?" was always met with, "Nah." The 4 wt. I'd built
for him years ago had gone largely untouched.

So I'm not pushing him into it. If he wants to go, great; if not, well, I
guess that's okay too. All of the whys, hows, and what ifs kept running
through my head as I contemplated his apparent desire to go along this time.
Why does he even want to go? How will he handle the conditions, the
exertion, the slow periods? What if he gets bored after an hour? I
realize now that I had most of the answers all along.

Because this was his first "guy trip", I resolved to treat him just like one
of the guys. Not as my son, not as a little kid, just another person along
for the trip. Though not consciously, I resolved to treat him with
respect. Within limits of safety and responsibility, he could do whatever
he wanted. Introductions to others were always on a first name basis; I
didn't make him call anybody "Mr." I didn't watch my language. I didn't
ask him about his schoolwork. I didn't make him eat vegetables. On the
river, despite some tough and dangerous conditions, I let him be as
self-reliant as possible.

At the end of two days of fishing, some remarkable things were evident. He
was having a great time. No doubt part of it was just being away from the
apron strings; but most amazingly, he was enjoying the fishing. He was
managing good casts and drifts; and he was hooking into some fish. Sure,
there's some work to do on the mechanics, but who cares. He was enjoying
the casting and the wading and the being outdoors and the camaraderie.

I realize this all may sound like a self-nomination for a dad-of-the-year
award, but it's more of a celebration of a rite of passage for myself. It
was dealing with the reality that my baby isn't a baby anymore. I did a
lot of things right this time, and I'm glad; but I know it's only the
beginning of a long process of knowing when to be there & when to back off
through some tough years ahead. As I watched him sleep in the car on the
long ride home, I was proud of him as my son and very pleased to have him as
my friend.

Joe F.

rb608 wrote:

Three days on the Salmon River is my annual trip with my fishing buddy and
friend, Craig; and this year marked a rite of passage for my son, who joined
me on the trip for the first time.........

Can't remember having read a better TR. Thanks.

rb608 wrote:
Three days on the Salmon River ...

I realize this all may sound like a self-nomination for a dad-of-the-year
award, but it's more of a celebration of a rite of passage for myself. ...

Well, if you won't do it yourself, please allow me.

And a nomination for TR of the year as well. Nicely done, Joe.

--
Ken Fortenberry

"rb608" wrote in message
...
snip

Yeah, but can he pass torches yet?

"rb608" wrote


I realize this all may sound like a self-nomination for a dad-of-the-year
award,

Hell, I'll vote for you G

Wonderful TR

"rb608" wrote...
Three days on the Salmon River is my annual trip with my fishing buddy and
friend, Craig; and this year marked a rite of passage for my son, who joined
me on the trip for the first time. snip

Congrats, Joe. You done good. It's a good thing I carry a hanky to wipe the
tears from my eyes. ;-)
--
TL,
Tim
Hey, bring him to Penns! Uh, er, never mind. That was just my bad brain speaking
out loud.
------------------------
http://css.sbcma.com/timj

"rb608" wrote in message
...

I was proud of him as my son and very pleased to have him as my friend.


Great stuff Joe,

I spent Saturday and part of Sunday at a scouting camp out with my 12 year
old. We got home about mid day on Sunday and I called my Dad to see if he
would like to take a drive up over the mountain to see if we could find us a
deer.

My wife said you should as Austin to ride along, which I planned to do,
however, figured he would decline as many times before.
I asked and he said "you bet Dad, I'll get ready to go"... I about fell off
my chair.

The three of us had a wonderful afternoon poking around the hills, telling
stories and reminiscing of past hunting trips.

The time with my son and father was priceless...

Jeff

From: "rb608"

Very nice Joe. I have all daughters, so no chance of a "guy" trip, but my
closest friend has a son who just turned 40. We began taking him on hunting and
fishing excursions when he was 10, and he killed his first deer with a bow when
he was 12. We always treated him just as you described the treatment of your
son, and I'm sure some of his most treasured memories are of our trips. He is
currently a successful doctor, goes on an annual elk hunt with his dad, and
more importantly, is a good husband and father. You done good, Joe. You've
given your boy a present that no amount of money could buy.




George Adams

"All good fishermen stay young until they die, for fishing is the only dream of
youth that doth not grow stale with age."
---- J.W Muller

"George Adams" wrote...
Very nice Joe. I have all daughters, so no chance of a "guy" trip, but my
closest friend has a son who just turned 40. We began taking him on hunting
and
fishing excursions when he was 10, and he killed his first deer with a bow
when
he was 12. snip

Doing the math, that makes you about. . . well, really old!
--
TL,
Tim
------------------------
http://css.sbcma.com/timj

rb608 wrote:
great TR snipped

Your post gives me hope. As of yet my son has shown little interest in
fishing.(His little sister, on the other hand, is already making plans
for a fishing trip next summer. She's a bit small yet.) I'm hoping that
someday he may change his mind.

Thanks for the TR.

Russell