NEWS BULLETIN -- Sarah Palin No Longer McCain's Running Mate

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO
(Rueters) -- John McCain will have
a new running mate in the Nov. 4
Presidential election, it was revealed by
Republican campaign headquarters
today.
A spokesman said Palin was eaten
alive by at least a dozen piranha while
taking a bath in her room room at the
Clairon Hotel and Conference Center
prior to a rally this afternoon.
Local police have ruled out an
accident and believe some nutcase
simply feared Palin was a heartbeat
away from occupying the Oval Office if
a miracle occurs and the Republicans
win the general elecion.
"It was either that or someone who
had a yen for protecting moose," a
detective noted.

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http://www.biology-blog.com/images/b...ranha-1271.jpg

Sarah Palin (left) with Tina Frey on Saturday Night Live.
http://blog.mlive.com/mediumfidelity...tina-sarah.jpg

============

Preston Duqesne, the hotel manager
who insisted his name not be used, said
"screams were heard, soon there was
complete silence, then a chambermaid
found bits and pieces of Palin's body
floating in ruby-red water."
Police investigators said it was not
a pleasant sight.
"Actually, it was such a horrible scene
that I puked on myself twice," said a
veteran detective, "I had to go
ome and change clothes."

MORE MORE MORE

==============

More gruesome details at
http://www.republicancampaignheadquarters.com/

WARNING:
Please Do Not Let the Kiddies See the Pictures . .

Ed Conrad
http://www.edconrad.com

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17. Journal-Constitution (Atlanta) 561,405
18. Arizona Republic (Phoenix) 556,465
19. Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.) 488,825
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31. Star (Kansas City, Mo.) 367,712
32. Register (Orange County, Calif.) 354,632
33. Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio) 352,510
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35. Express-News (San Antonio, Tex.) 342,709
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37. South Florida Sun-Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, Fla.) 339,728
38. Bee (Sacramento, Calif.) 330,993
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60. Journal (Providence, R.I.) 218,388
61. Commercial Appeal (Memphis) 216,705
62 News & Observer (Raleigh, N.C.) 213,878
63. Post (W. Palm Beach, Fla.) 211,697
64. Investors Business Daily (Los Angeles) 210,708
65. Record (Hackensack, N.J.) 206,086
66. Asbury Park Press (Neptune, N.J.) 199,723
67. Contra Costa Times (Walnut Creek, Calif.) 190,613
68. Press-Enterprise (Riverside, Calif.) 189,000
69. Daily News (Los Angeles) 187,740
70. Bee (Fresno, Calif.) 183,744
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72. News (Birmingham, Ala.) 180,451
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94. Times Union (Albany, N.Y.) 133,787
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96. Republican (Springfield, Mass.) 125,864
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98. Daily News (Philadelphia) 123,483
99. Journal Gazette/News-Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Ind.) 121,475
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