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#1
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Billy Bob and Vern talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Vern, "Yaw
know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm going to do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go and all. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Pauline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Pauline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Pauline didn't get pregnant again." Vern asks Billy Bob, "So, what you going to do this year that's different?" Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Pauline with me." |
#2
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A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he
approached his assistant. "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was yer day?" Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The farst one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol." "Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, sir" says Murphy. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everythin including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I've not seen any man!" "Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes." |
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