New versions of the Full Reid

Some of the "fun" lately:
1. Got a new grease gun after 30 years. Needed one that I can use a
flexible hose on to get to a couple of zergs on the lawn tractor.
Okay, I know how to operate a grease gun. This is not rocket
science. Pull back on plunger, open, insert cartridge, pull end off
cartridge, put cap back on the gun, release plunger, slightly open air
valve screw to bleed off air.... OH CRAP! The screw on the new gun
has about 3 threads and has popped off! Grease is shooting out all
over the place! I'm trying to put my finger over the hole to stop the
flow whilst running my other hand through the growing grease mound to
find the screw. Okay, got the screw, how do I get it back in under
pressure? This grease gun is like a clown car, how much grease is in
this cartridge? There's more coming out than what I put in! Jeez-O-
Pete, next time, thoroughly check these things out before I buy them.

2. Tune All-Wheel-Steering riding lawn mower to within an inch of its
life.. Check (more power! Racing plugs in a lawn mower are cool!)
Use new grease gun with the last tablespoon of grease in there to lube
steering.. Check
Wash and wax said mover.. Check
Armor All all vinyl parts on mower.. Check
OMG! Do NOT Armor All the seat and try to cut 2 acres of bumpy ground!
My body hasn't moved like that since that night in Manila! And that
grease has made the steering effortless. I want more effort! This
thing is turning 360's when I don't want to! Holy Side Oats Grama,
Batman! What did I do to deserve this?

Frank Reid
(gonna hire Migel to do this crap)