Clave Proposal

Ok, it's time to separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls,
the women from the men and boys, the homosexuals from the heterosexuals, the
civilized from the uncivilized etc., etc., etc....

I propose the Uncivilized 'Clave! And, yes there are RULES.

RULES:

1) No deadly weapons (guns/ammo, knives, golf clubs, automobiles--except
for travel means, swords, bats/clubs...you may add to this list). ANYONE
CAUGHT POSSESSING A DEADLY WEAPON WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE, AND THIS
PERSON/PERSONS WILL BE BAN FROM ALL FUTURE UNCIVILIZED 'CLAVES! ANYONE NOT
CAUGHT, BUT WHO UTILIZES A DEADLY WEAPON WILL BE DEALT WITH BY THE LOCAL
AUTHORITIES...I GUESS?

2) All combatants...um uh....attendees most agree to participate in all
'clave activities--listed later in this post.

3) No civilized ROFFians may attend! No Ken, you are not considered
civilized.

4) Any Roffian who agrees to attend said 'clave, but attempts to reconcile
differences up to 4 weeks before the clave may be roundly flamed, with
impunity, by any other ROFFian.

5) Once dates and location have been agreed upon, all combatants MUST
arrive on the first day of the clave; however, no combatant will be required
to attend the 'claves entirety and my leave at any time for any reason. The
Uncivilized 'Clave will be scheduled to last 5 days, but not necessarily so.

6) As this is an UNCIVILIZED 'CLAVE, some attendees/combatants may become
injured due to the actions of others.

7) All combatants MUST agree not to sue another combatant/attendee, not to
call on the proper authorities--unless a deadly weapon is employed in the
fray, cry excessively after getting their ass kicked (whimpering allowed).

8) No individual combatant may interfere with the activities of two
competing combatants/attendees, whether the activity is scheduled or not! A
majority decision to stop two combatants from killin' one another. In the
unlikely event that there is no majority, either combatant may CRY UNCLE,
and the engagement MUST cease!

9) Actual combatant/attendees may add to these RULES-- no civilized folks
will be allowed to participate. Marquis of Queensbury Rules
http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/Spri...tura/rules.htm don't apply
to any engagements!

10) Any CIVILIZED PERSONS found among the UNCIVILIZED will be treated in a
most UNCIVILIZED MANNER!

ACTIVITIES:

Once a time, date, and location are agreed upon, the first days activity
will consist of warm-up insults, heavy drinkin' and some fishin'. The
second day will begin with fractious early breakfast followed by
semi-pugilist sports--to be determined between now and the week before the
'clave-- Assuming that any or all combatants/attendees are capable after the
pugilist activities, drinkin', cussin', and fishin' will follow. We'll just
have to wing it for the 3rd thru 5th days; however, all day are to remain
UNCIVILIZED and no reconciliations will be tolerated--otherwise the
UNCIVILIZED 'CLAVE will be considered a failure.

As I am proposin' this UNCIVILIZED 'CLAVE, I will be in attendance! I
implore all other UNCIVILIZED ROFFians sign-up NOW!

Sincerely Vile,
Mark H. Bowen a/k/a CtM