Four Dead in NYC Piranha Attack

=========================
"OH, THE HUMANITY"
=========================

NEW YORK (Rueters) -- A bloody
piranha attack occurred in the private
swimming pool in the Fox News
studios tonight, leaving only bits
and pieces of Bill O'Reilly and Sean
Hannity as well as their assh*le
buddies Rush Limbaugh and Ann
Coulter.
Body parts of the nude bathers,
some obscene, were found floating
in the burgundy-colored water by
Rupert Murdick, 97.
"The little *******s probably
hadn't eaten for a week," he
grunted. "Poor Billo lost everything,
including his Fmily Jewel, and
all that was left of Ann Coulter
was her black eye patch."

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lEAE...eature=related

Murdick offered a $5,500
reward leading to the arrest of
the demented individual responsible
for the grotesque mass murder.
Detectives said the only clue
may be the initials "K.O" written
in indelible ink on each piranha's
left fin..
A High Requiem Mass will be
celebrated Wednesday at St.
Douglas Convent by Father Guido
Sarducci, providing the former SNL
chaplain can acquire a high-enough
ladder.

FOR A MINUTE-BY-MINUTE UPDATE:
http://www.foxnews.com

While waiting for the updates, you
might want to take a peak at
http://www.edconrad.com

Man as Old as Coal
AND
Proof of Life After Death

=================

WORLD'S LARGEST NEWSPAPERS
Rank Title Country Circulation (000)
1 Yomiuri Shimbun Japan 14,067
2 The Asahi Shimbun Japan 12,121
3 Mainichi Shimbun Japan 5,587
4 Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 4,635
5 Chunichi Shimbun Japan 4,512
6 Bild Germany 3,867
7 Sankei Shimbun Japan 2,757
8 Canako Xiaoxi (Beijing) China 2,627
9 People’s Daily China 2,509
10 Tokyo Sports Japan 2,425
11 The Sun United Kingdom 2,419
12 The Chosun Ilbo South Korea 2,378
13 USA Today USA 2,310
14 The Wall Street Journal USA 2,107
15 Daily Mail UK 2,093
16 The Joongang Ilbo South Korea 2,084
17 The Dong-A Ilbo South Korea 2,052
18 Nikkan Sports Japan 1,965
19 Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,922
20 Dainik Jagran India 1,911
21 Yangtse Evening Post China 1,715
22 Sports Nippon Japan 1,711
23 The Nikkan Gendai Japan 1,686
24 Times of India India 1,680
25 Guangzhou Daily China 1,650
26 The Mirror UK 1,597
27 Yukan Fuji Japan 1,559
28 Shizuoka Shimbun Japan 1,479
29 Nanfang City News (Guangzhou) China 1,410
30 Dainik Bhaskar India 1,405
31 Sankei Sports Japan 1,368
32 Hochi Shimbun Japan 1,354
33 Yangcheng Evening News (Guangzhou) China 1,320
34 Malayala Manorama India 1,309
35 Liberty Times Taiwan 1,300
36 Thai Rath Thailand 1,200
37 New York Times USA 1,121
38 Hindustan Times India 1,108
39 Chutian Metro Daily (Wuhan) China 1,084
40 Gujarat Samachar India 1,051
41 Ananda Bazar Patrika India 1,046
42 Xinmin Evening News (Shanghai) China 1,045
43 Eenadu India 1,039
44 Nishi-Nippon Shimbun Japan 1,025
45 Kronen Zeitung Austria 1,009
46 WAZ Mediengruppe Germany 1,001
47 United Daily News Taiwan 1,000
48 China Times Taiwan 1,000
49 Daily Sports Japan 999
50 The Hindu India 989
51 Hindustan India 957
52 Beijing Evening News China 950
53 Mathrubhumi India 904
54 Los Angeles Times USA 902
55 Information Times China 900
56 Daily News Thailand 900
57 Al-Ahram Egypt 900
58 Peninsula City News China 860
59 Kom Chad Luek Thailand 850
60 Kyoto Shimbun Japan 825
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 821
62 Punjab Kesari India 817
63 Komsomolskaya Pravda Russia 817
64 Rajasthan Patrika India 804
65 Dahe Newspaper China 796
66 Chugoku Shimbun Japan 789
67 Ouest France France 783
68 Daily Sakai India 783
69 Jang Pakistan 775
70 AJ India 759
71 De Telegraaf The Netherlands 753
72 Qianjiang Evening News China 750
73 Qilu Evening News China 750
74 Nanfang Daily China 750
75 Daily Thanthi India 750
76 Moskovskiy Komsomolets Russia 750
77 Sandesh India 743
78 Daily Express UK 720
79 New York Daily News USA 715
80 The Washington Post USA 708
81 Daily Star UK 705
82 Today Evening News China 699
83 New York Post USA 686
84 Corriere della Sera Italy 677
85 Wuhan Evening News China 660
86 Modern Express China 651
87 Yanzhao Metro Daily China 650
88 Metro Express China 650
89 Zeitungsgruppe Koln Germany 628
90 Kahoku Shimpo Japan 622
91 La Repubblica Italy 622
92 Trud Russia 613
93 Beijing Youth Daily China 606
94 Chicago Tribune USA 601
95 New Express China 600
96 Daily Sunshine China 600
97 Matichon Thailand 600
98 Khao Sod Thailand 600
99 Apple Daily Taiwan 600
100 Min Sheng Pao Taiwan 600

LARGEST U,S. NEWSPAPWERS
Rank Newspaper Circulation
1. USA Today (Arlington, Va.) 2,528,437
2. Wall Street Journal (New York, N.Y.) 2,058,342
3. Times (New York, N.Y.) 1,683,855
4. Times (Los Angeles) 1,231,318
5. Post (Washington, DC) 960,684
6. Tribune (Chicago) 957,212
7. Daily News (New York, N.Y.) 795,153
8. Inquirer (Philadelphia) 705,965
9. Post/Rocky Mountain News (Denver) 704,806
10. Chronicle (Houston) 692,557
11. Post (New York, N.Y.) 691,420
12. News/Free Press (Detroit) 669,315
13. Morning News (Dallas) 649,709
14. Star Tribune (Minneapolis) 606,698
15. Globe (Boston) 604,068
16. Star-Ledger (Newark, N.J.) 599,628
17. Journal-Constitution (Atlanta) 561,405
18. Arizona Republic (Phoenix) 556,465
19. Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.) 488,825
20. Chronicle (San Francisco) 451,504
21. Plain Dealer (Cleveland) 450,875
22. Times/Post-Intelligencer (Seattle) 435,581
23. Post-Dispatch (St. Louis) 423,291
24. Times (St. Petersburg, Fla.) 422,410
25. Union-Tribune (San Diego) 408,392
26. Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee) 405,355
27. Sun (Baltimore) 401,918
28. Herald (Miami) 390,171
29. Oregonian (Portland) 384,729
30. Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, Pa.) 373,980
31. Star (Kansas City, Mo.) 367,712
32. Register (Orange County, Calif.) 354,632
33. Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio) 352,510
34. Star (Indianapolis) 347,217
35. Express-News (San Antonio, Tex.) 342,709
36. Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.) 341,025
37. South Florida Sun-Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, Fla.) 339,728
38. Bee (Sacramento, Calif.) 330,993
39. Star-Telegram (Fort Worth, Tex.) 322,824
40. Tribune & Times (Tampa, Fla.) 309,916
41. Enquirer/Post (Cincinnati) 293,151
42. Daily Oklahoman (Oklahoma City) 287,505
43. Democrat-Gazette (Little Rock, Ark.) 275,991
44. Observer (Charlotte, N.C.) 274,125
45. News (Buffalo, N.Y.) 273,177
46. Courant (Hartford, Conn.) 272,918
47. Courier-Journal (Louisville, Ky.) 271,920
48. Mercury News (San Jose, Calif.) 263,373
49. Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.) 251,565
50. Register (Des Moines, Iowa) 240,912
51. Tennessean (Nashville) 236,563
52. World-Herald (Omaha, Neb.) 231,115
53. Herald (Boston) 230,344
54. American-Statesman (Austin, Tex.) 228,619
55. Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.) 225,730
56. Times-Union (Jacksonville, Fla.) 222,392
57. Democrat and Chronicle (Rochester, N.Y.) 219,660
58. Times-Dispatch (Richmond, Va.) 219,595
59. Review-Journal (Las Vegas) 219,228
60. Journal (Providence, R.I.) 218,388
61. Commercial Appeal (Memphis) 216,705
62 News & Observer (Raleigh, N.C.) 213,878
63. Post (W. Palm Beach, Fla.) 211,697
64. Investors Business Daily (Los Angeles) 210,708
65. Record (Hackensack, N.J.) 206,086
66. Asbury Park Press (Neptune, N.J.) 199,723
67. Contra Costa Times (Walnut Creek, Calif.) 190,613
68. Press-Enterprise (Riverside, Calif.) 189,000
69. Daily News (Los Angeles) 187,740
70. Bee (Fresno, Calif.) 183,744
71. Press (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 182,810
72. News (Birmingham, Ala.) 180,451
73. Daily Star (Tucson, Ariz.) 173,064
74. Beacon Journal (Akron, Ohio) 170,870
75. Daily News (Dayton, Ohio) 168,645
76. Post-Standard (Syracuse, N.Y.) 168,393
77. Blade (Toledo, Ohio) 167,686
78. Advertiser (Honolulu) 160,723
79. Tribune-Review (Greensburg, Pa.) 158,013
80. Daily Herald (Arlington Heights, Ill.) 153,291
81. News-Sentinel (Knoxville, Tenn.) 152,945
82. Tribune/Deseret News (Salt Lake City) 151,422
83. Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.) 150,936
84. Journal (Albuquerque) 149,455
85. Wisconsin State Journal/Capital Times (Madison, Wis.) 148,489
86. Patriot-News (Harrisburg, Pa.) 148,301
87. Journal News (White Plains, N.Y.) 144,231
88. Eagle (Wichita, Kans.) 143,948
89. Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.) 141,019
90. State (Columbia, S.C.) 140,362
91. Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Fla.) 138,675
92. News Tribune (Tacoma, Wash.) 137,730
93. News Journal (Wilmington, Del.) 134,865
94. Times Union (Albany, N.Y.) 133,787
95. La Opinion (Los Angeles) 128,553
96. Republican (Springfield, Mass.) 125,864
97. News-Journal (Daytona Beach, Fla.) 125,754
98. Daily News (Philadelphia) 123,483
99. Journal Gazette/News-Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Ind.) 121,475
100. Spokesman-Review (Spokane, Wash.) 120,632