Hollywood Squares

I saw this posted on another newsgroup. I'd have reposted here
sooner but it took awhile to get the Budweiser off my computer
screen.

Ken


These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares"
game show. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
course...

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it...

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love
You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q.. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q.. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

On Jan 28, 4:51*pm, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:
I saw this posted on another newsgroup. I'd have reposted here
sooner but it took awhile to get the Budweiser off my computer
screen.

Ken

These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares"
game show. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
course...

Q. *Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. *Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it...

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. *Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. *Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love
You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.

Q. As *you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. *Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. *Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. *Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q.. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. *One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q.. *Can boys join the *Camp * Fire *Girls?
A. *Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. *What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. *What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

These are fuuuuukkkkking amazing.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

cheers

oz, who is e-mailing many folks with it.

" fuuuuukkkkking "

opps...be very careful of the language police on this group...ha,
ha, !! hey, there are kids
monitoring us, ea?.....those are amazing quotes....nice one
ken........

On Jan 29, 11:50*am, "~^ beancounter ~^"
wrote:
" fuuuuukkkkking "

opps...be very careful of the language police on this group...ha,
ha, !! * *hey, there are kids
monitoring us, ea?.....those are amazing quotes....nice one
ken........

Idiot.

g.

i'll say u are.......





Idiot.

g.

On Jan 31, 8:32*pm, "~^ beancounter ~^" wrote:
i'll say u are.......





Idiot.

g.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Moron.

g.

true for you as well...






Moron.

g.

On Jan 31, 10:04*pm, "~^ beancounter ~^"
wrote:
true for you as well...





Moron.

g.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Idiot.

g.

THE OBVIOUS DEFICIT-CLOSERS

By DICK MORRIS & EILEEN MCGANN


Published in the New York Post on February 5, 2010


As he tells us he wants to reduce the dangerous budget deficit,
President
Obama brings to mind the hapless engineers at Toyota who find that
their
vehicles accelerate whether or not the driver wants them to. It
appears
that no matter how hard Obama jams on the brakes with his newfound
commitment to deficit reduction (after almost doubling the deficit in
one
year), the level of red ink just seems inexorably to rise. The House
voted
yesterday to raise the federal debt limit another $1.9 trillion.


Obviously, more fundamental change in the budget's engineering is
needed.
But, unfortunately, it is easier to recall a car than a president.


Obama's announced intention to freeze 13 percent of the budget for
three
years is a relatively minor cut. It will trim the deficit by only 3
percent over the decade.


But if the president really wanted to get serious about reducing the
deficit, he's got two easy steps to take:


1) Stop the remaining $500 billion of last year's $800 billion
stimulus
package.


2) Refund to the Treasury the $500 billion in TARP funds repaid by
the
banks.


Instead, he's merrily spending the remaining stimulus cash -- even
though
the first round failed to curb the recession, doing little more than
protecting the jobs and pay of state and local government employees.
The
remaining money would do more of the same -- while also funding
pork-barrel projects all over America.


But only $300 billion of the stimulus has been spent. Why not call
back
the remaining $500 billion? Because Obama is still committed to the
expansion of government spending. His promise of a (minor) freeze
next
year brings to mind an overweight friend's talk of the diet he'll go
on --
even as he starts another banana split.


Then there's the TARP funds. Most of the money laid out under
President
George W. Bush is being repaid by the banks that borrowed it -- but
Obama
is intent on intercepting the cash before it lands in the Treasury
and
sending it out the door again.


He wants these funds for his second stimulus, relabeled as a "jobs
bill."
Some $30 billion is to go to small businesses for job creation, $30
billion for consumer credit and yet another $100 billion for more
state
and local aid -- that is, more protection for government workers.


And none of that cash will ever come back -- even though it's TARP
money
that was initially appropriated for short-term lending, spending that
the
government would quickly recoup.


When will the president learn that deficit spending isn't the way to
stimulate the economy? That by adding to the deficit, he is stopping
business from borrowing to create jobs and blocking consumers from
getting
the capital they need to make purchases?


Treasury debt is up 41 percent over the last year, while commercial
and
consumer lending is down by more than 20 percent: The government is
hogging the loan window. Doesn't the president realize that this is
blocking, not catalyzing, job creation?

On Feb 5, 6:33*pm, "~^ beancounter ~^" wrote:
THE OBVIOUS DEFICIT-CLOSERS

By DICK MORRIS & EILEEN MCGANN

Published in the New York Post on February 5, 2010

As he tells us he wants to reduce the dangerous budget deficit,
President
Obama brings to mind the hapless engineers at Toyota who find that
their
vehicles accelerate whether or not the driver wants them to. It
appears
that no matter how hard Obama jams on the brakes with his newfound
commitment to deficit reduction (after almost doubling the deficit in
one
year), the level of red ink just seems inexorably to rise. The House
voted
yesterday to raise the federal debt limit another $1.9 trillion.

Obviously, more fundamental change in the budget's engineering is
needed.
But, unfortunately, it is easier to recall a car than a president.

Obama's announced intention to freeze 13 percent of the budget for
three
years is a relatively minor cut. It will trim the deficit by only 3
percent over the decade.

But if the president really wanted to get serious about reducing the
deficit, he's got two easy steps to take:

1) Stop the remaining $500 billion of last year's $800 billion
stimulus
package.

2) Refund to the Treasury the $500 billion in TARP funds repaid by
the
banks.

Instead, he's merrily spending the remaining stimulus cash -- even
though
the first round failed to curb the recession, doing little more than
protecting the jobs and pay of state and local government employees.
The
remaining money would do more of the same -- while also funding
pork-barrel projects all over America.

But only $300 billion of the stimulus has been spent. Why not call
back
the remaining $500 billion? Because Obama is still committed to the
expansion of government spending. His promise of a (minor) freeze
next
year brings to mind an overweight friend's talk of the diet he'll go
on --
even as he starts another banana split.

Then there's the TARP funds. Most of the money laid out under
President
George W. Bush is being repaid by the banks that borrowed it -- but
Obama
is intent on intercepting the cash before it lands in the Treasury
and
sending it out the door again.

He wants these funds for his second stimulus, relabeled as a "jobs
bill."
Some $30 billion is to go to small businesses for job creation, $30
billion for consumer credit and yet another $100 billion for more
state
and local aid -- that is, more protection for government workers.

And none of that cash will ever come back -- even though it's TARP
money
that was initially appropriated for short-term lending, spending that
the
government would quickly recoup.

When will the president learn that deficit spending isn't the way to
stimulate the economy? That by adding to the deficit, he is stopping
business from borrowing to create jobs and blocking consumers from
getting
the capital they need to make purchases?

Treasury debt is up 41 percent over the last year, while commercial
and
consumer lending is down by more than 20 percent: The government is
hogging the loan window. Doesn't the president realize that this is
blocking, not catalyzing, job creation?

Moron.

g.