OT This will keep you in stitches.

http://redsox.bostonherald.com/redSo...rticleid=50615

So how many stitches to the ankle would YOU take for 15 million dollars ?

--
Ken Fortenberry - for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)

On Tue, 26 Oct 2004 14:59:39 GMT, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:

http://redsox.bostonherald.com/redSo...rticleid=50615

So how many stitches to the ankle would YOU take for 15 million dollars ?

--
Ken Fortenberry - for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)


Well, sure...heck for $500USD, I'd let you staple the latest AOL CD I received
to your dick - I have no plans to use either item. But would the 15 mil include
the cutting it off it'd take to accomplish that little de Sadian fantasy?

wrote:
Ken Fortenberry wrote:
... for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)

... But would the 15 mil include
the cutting it off it'd take to accomplish that little de Sadian fantasy?

Well, they wouldn't have to cut all of it off, just the two or three
inches that hangs below the knee and actually I was hoping that they'd
just, you know, leave a little bend in it. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

On Tue, 26 Oct 2004 17:15:39 GMT, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:

wrote:
Ken Fortenberry wrote:
... for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)

... But would the 15 mil include
the cutting it off it'd take to accomplish that little de Sadian fantasy?

Well, they wouldn't have to cut all of it off, just the two or three
inches that hangs below the knee and actually I was hoping that they'd
just, you know, leave a little bend in it. ;-)

Uh-huh...well, philosophize all you want there, Testocules, but I thought I was
already being generous allowing for the possibility you still had a dick...truth
be told, I kinda figured some gal walked off with ol' Gladys Knight and the Pips
in her purse years ago...

HTH,
Dickie (and his intact dick)

On Tue, 26 Oct 2004 17:15:39 GMT, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:

wrote:
Ken Fortenberry wrote:
... for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)

... But would the 15 mil include
the cutting it off it'd take to accomplish that little de Sadian fantasy?

Well, they wouldn't have to cut all of it off, just the two or three
inches that hangs below the knee and actually I was hoping that they'd
just, you know, leave a little bend in it. ;-)

Uh-huh...well, philosophize all you want there, Testocules, but I thought I was
already being generous allowing for the possibility you still had a dick...truth
be told, I kinda figured some gal walked off with ol' Gladys Knight and the Pips
in her purse years ago...

HTH,
Dickie (and his intact dick)

wrote in message
...
On Tue, 26 Oct 2004 14:59:39 GMT, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:

http://redsox.bostonherald.com/redSo...rticleid=50615

So how many stitches to the ankle would YOU take for 15 million dollars ?

--
Ken Fortenberry - for 15 mil you could staple my dick to my left knee ;-)


Well, sure...heck for $500USD, I'd let you staple the latest AOL CD I
received
to your dick - I have no plans to use either item. But would the 15 mil
include
the cutting it off it'd take to accomplish that little de Sadian fantasy?


Even so, the story doesn't diminish what he's done at all in my mind. I know
from experience (and I bet Frank will agree) that when my back is out, WAY
out, the spasms are so bad that an offer of an outlandish amount of money
(in my terms, thousands of dollars) MIGHT get me off the floor, but to then
go out and do something physical at a level beyond that of almost anyone I
know...forget it! Even dangling millions would not make the spasms go away,
or make it any less impossible for me to do certain things.

Sure, I can say "for $15 mil, I'd pitch the World Series on an ankle that
has had the skin stapled to the meat in such a way, never before done, that
a torn tendon sheath won't pop out as I hurl 90mph fastballs down the pike
at heavyweight Major League players in front of 150 million people who have
their lives and hearts staked on the outcome of the game." But in reality,
no I couldn't muster the physical power or the will power to do it for any
amount of money. I might agree to TRY, but I wouldn't come through. No way.

I wonder if someone really offered you $15 mil to staple your dick to
your left knee, what you would really say?? All hyperbole aside, because
for Kurt, all hyperbole really IS aside. We forget that this isn't a movie;
we're watching some guy in the BIG spotlight doing something on a scale that
I doubt any of us have ever been asked to do, in real life. Ever.

--riverman

riverman wrote:
snip
I wonder if someone really offered you $15 mil to staple your dick to
your left knee, what you would really say?? ...

I'm gonna need a bottle of Laphroaig, a gram of blow, enough
Novacaine to stun an elephant and a sterilized staple remover.
And I'll need confirmation from my off-shore bank before you
start. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

Ken Fortenberry wrote:
riverman wrote:
snip
I wonder if someone really offered you $15 mil to staple your
dick to your left knee, what you would really say?? ...

I'm gonna need a bottle of Laphroaig, a gram of blow, enough
Novacaine to stun an elephant and a sterilized staple remover.
And I'll need confirmation from my off-shore bank before you
start. ;-)

Couldn't we just staple your head to your left knee and accomplish the
same thing? Come to think of it, there would probably be less damage.
;-)

Donations can be sent to the SKDTHLK Foundation.
--
TL,
Tim
------------------------
http://css.sbcma.com/timj

Tim J. wrote:

snip
Donations can be sent to the SKDTHLK Foundation.

Do you think all that will fit on Schilling's shoe ? ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
om...
riverman wrote:
snip
I wonder if someone really offered you $15 mil to staple your dick
to
your left knee, what you would really say?? ...

I'm gonna need a bottle of Laphroaig, a gram of blow, enough
Novacaine to stun an elephant and a sterilized staple remover.
And I'll need confirmation from my off-shore bank before you
start. ;-)

Actually I think you over estimate the pain envolved, particularly for a
well sharpened, small diameter staple. In my opinion a steady hand and the
staple diameter would be of more concern than the length of the staple. The
sound of the twhack of the stapler would be an psychological issue but
perhaps that could be effectively muffled or masked. Id also suggest that
you do it sitting down, sober.

Dave