humor not fishing man vs women

This is the best revenge I've heard from the man's point of view in the
Mars-Venus wars. It's so logical. The problem is, the man won the battle
but will he win the war?

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?? What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her she should take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went into the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for
a tennis bracel et when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation
she finally said, "I think this is all, dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"

I then said, "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

this is great and sooo real
"Calif Bill" wrote in message
nk.net...
This is the best revenge I've heard from the man's point of view in the
Mars-Venus wars. It's so logical. The problem is, the man won the battle
but will he win the war?

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?? What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We
went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her she should take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went into the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked
for
a tennis bracel et when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation
she finally said, "I think this is all, dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?"

I then said, "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

SOOOOO FUNNY