OT - Newly Married

SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party
with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door
to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands
from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop.... but at the bar...you
know...
they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife
interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She
took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting
chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at
the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I
won't be long.

I'll be right back. I promise...OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and
took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps and pork strips.

"But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know, there's swearing,
dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? "LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT YOUR
ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG
AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING
TO A FRICKING BAR!THAT **** IS OVER... GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

....and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

But honey cakes... at the bar your hot friend Sally offers to come home
and have sex with us, serve me my wings and beer in the nude and hold
the video camera.