Stolen Flies

With apologies to Johnny Carson and Jack Webb.

“Excuse me officer, I need your help.”

“What’s the problem, sir?”

“I’ve been fleeced.”

“Fleeced? “

“Yes, some one stole my flymphs.”

“You were fleeced of your flymphs? What are flymphs?”

“Fly fishing flies.”

“You were fleeced of your fly fishing flymph flies.”

“That’s right, and they were my favorites.”

“Where were these flymphs?”

“Flat on the floor of my Fleetwood.

“Okay. You were fleeced of your favorite fly fishing flymph flies that
were flat the floor of your Fleetwood. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have any idea on who may have fleeced you of your favorite fly
fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your Fleetwood?”

“Floyd Fleming.”

“Figures. Do you know where Floyd Fleming is?”

“He flew home to Flat Key, Florida.”

“Do you know what Floyd Fleming, who lives in Flat Key Florida, does for
a living?

“Yes, he works for the whaling fleet cutting blubber from whales. He’s
the fleet flenser.”

“Let me summarize. Fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming fleeced you of your
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your
Fleetwood and flew home to Flat Key, Florida.”

“That’s correct. One more thing.”

“Yes.”

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my Fleetwood
and flew home to Flat Key, Florida…”

“Yes?”

“I gonna flay him.”

--
Frank Reid
Euthanize to reply

"Frank Reid" wrote in message
...
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:39 AM
Subject: Stolen Flies

snip

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my Fleetwood
and flew home to Flat Key, Florida…”

“Yes?”

“I gonna flay him.”

--
Frank Reid
Euthanize to reply

Flash ...Flash...Flash for Frank
Floyd Flemming is no longer a fleet flenser in Flat Key, Florida. To
forstall falling into the firm hands of the FBI, he fled to Flatbush and now
fillets flounder at the Fulton Fish market.

Bob Weinberger
La, Grande, OR

place a dot between bobs and stuff and remove invalid to send email

"Bob Weinberger" wrote in message
news:Q1r_d.6031$b_6.559@trnddc01...

"Frank Reid" wrote in message
...
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:39 AM
Subject: Stolen Flies

snip

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my Fleetwood
and flew home to Flat Key, Florida…”

“Yes?”

“I gonna flay him.”

--
Frank Reid
Euthanize to reply

Flash ...Flash...Flash for Frank
Floyd Flemming is no longer a fleet flenser in Flat Key, Florida. To
forstall falling into the firm hands of the FBI, he fled to Flatbush and
now
fillets flounder at the Fulton Fish market.

Fatuous folderol! The febrile felon, Flemming, fled Florida for Flanders,
forsooth!

Wolfgang

Today roff is brought to you by the letter "F". What's tomorrows letter?
I only know about Sept 19 th when it's brought to your by the letters "I"
and "R" (or Aye and Rrrr.)

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

"Bob Weinberger" wrote in message
news:Q1r_d.6031$b_6.559@trnddc01...

"Frank Reid" wrote in message
...
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:39 AM
Subject: Stolen Flies

snip

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my
Fleetwood
and flew home to Flat Key, Florida."

"Yes?"

"I gonna flay him."

--
Frank Reid
Euthanize to reply

Flash ...Flash...Flash for Frank
Floyd Flemming is no longer a fleet flenser in Flat Key, Florida. To
forstall falling into the firm hands of the FBI, he fled to Flatbush and
now
fillets flounder at the Fulton Fish market.

Fatuous folderol! The febrile felon, Flemming, fled Florida for Flanders,
forsooth!

Wolfgang

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

Fatuous folderol! The febrile felon, Flemming, fled Florida for Flanders,
forsooth!

Wolfgang

What the hell it's a slow night.

I fear your information is false. Fables of Flemming's flight to Flanders
are fatuous flapdoodle, despite his Flemish forbears.
My source is an influential law enforcement officer who is both unflinching
and unflappable.
The fleeing felon Floyd Flemming has been finally fenced in, caught while
fixed in the glare of police floodlights at the front of the foyer to his
flat in Flatbush while wearing flannel. On confrontation Flemming said " I'm
floored and flummoxed by the flippant attitude of the forces that finally
ended my flight which involved fiendishly following the flamingos north."
He then commenced to flagellate himself with a flacid flounder fillet.
Flemming had flagrantly flaunted Florida's laws against fleecing
unsuspecting flyfishermen by filching their flymph flies from the floor of a
Fleetwood, but was fingered (for fifty florin) by a flaxon haired floozy who
worked with him in the Fulton Fish Market. She firmly fixed his identity by
the unmistakeable odor of his flatulence that had been fluently and floridly
(if not fragrantly) detailed in the flier that the FBI had flooded the
country with following Flemming's flight from Flat Key, Florida.

FURTHER FACTS ON THE FLEMMING FLAP
Though Flemming flattered himself by flexing his jaw to his fellows about
how he was a first filleter in Fulton Fish Market, he actually worked on the
recovery line, flaking flawed fillets of fluke, flounder and other flatfish
with a flimsy fleam. He had flirted with the flaxen haired floozy who
finally fingered him. It seems she took no frivolity from Flemming's foolish
foibles such as foisting flaming farts off toward his fellow filleters or
foolishly flinging flinders of flounder in their direction to see if they
would flinch.

finis


--
Bob Weinberger
La, Grande, OR

place a dot between bobs and stuff and remove invalid to send email

"Bob Weinberger" wrote in message
newskt_d.8150$GI6.4040@trnddc05...

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

Fatuous folderol! The febrile felon, Flemming, fled Florida for
Flanders,
forsooth!

Wolfgang

What the hell it's a slow night.

I fear your information is false. Fables of Flemming's flight to Flanders
are fatuous flapdoodle, despite his Flemish forbears.
My source is an influential law enforcement officer who is both
unflinching
and unflappable.
The fleeing felon Floyd Flemming has been finally fenced in, caught while
fixed in the glare of police floodlights at the front of the foyer to his
flat in Flatbush while wearing flannel. On confrontation Flemming said "
I'm
floored and flummoxed by the flippant attitude of the forces that finally
ended my flight which involved fiendishly following the flamingos north."
He then commenced to flagellate himself with a flacid flounder fillet.
Flemming had flagrantly flaunted Florida's laws against fleecing
unsuspecting flyfishermen by filching their flymph flies from the floor of
a
Fleetwood, but was fingered (for fifty florin) by a flaxon haired floozy
who
worked with him in the Fulton Fish Market. She firmly fixed his identity
by
the unmistakeable odor of his flatulence that had been fluently and
floridly
(if not fragrantly) detailed in the flier that the FBI had flooded the
country with following Flemming's flight from Flat Key, Florida.

FURTHER FACTS ON THE FLEMMING FLAP
Though Flemming flattered himself by flexing his jaw to his fellows about
how he was a first filleter in Fulton Fish Market, he actually worked on
the
recovery line, flaking flawed fillets of fluke, flounder and other
flatfish
with a flimsy fleam. He had flirted with the flaxen haired floozy who
finally fingered him. It seems she took no frivolity from Flemming's
foolish
foibles such as foisting flaming farts off toward his fellow filleters or
foolishly flinging flinders of flounder in their direction to see if they
would flinch.

finis

Fold.

Wolfgang

Flatbush; Florida's Floyd Fleming Faces Further Charges

Frank Fredericks, spokeman for Flatbush's Finest, says that Floyd Fleming,
formerly of Flat Key, Florida, currently awaiting extradition on charges of
filching fly fishing flymph flies from the Fleetwood of a Florida fisherman
in February, also faces charges in Philadelphia. The further charges,
including failure to appear, stem from a case involving false financial
dealings with Philadelphia philanthrapist and founder of Philadelphia's
famous fast food eatery, Flegle's Frankfurters, Ford Fleagle. Fredericks
found the failure to appear warrant as the result of follow-up after
Fleming's arrest in Flatbush on Friday.Fleage's attorney, Fred Farmer,
speaking for his famous client, currently fishing near Ft Francis, said from
his office in Philadelhpia, "We wish to thank the authorities of Florida and
Flatbush as well as the FBI for finally finding and aprehending Floyd
Fleming." Fleming could also face federal charges af interstate flight to
avoid prosecution, according to the FBI's Felicia Filson.


Sorry...couldn't resist.

Sorry...couldn't resist.

Flatterer.

--
Frank Reid
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