OT LIfe's a bitch

"Wayne Harrison" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
m...
SNIP
i think that to write this here is a mistake. but i believe that
there
are some of us who need to know that a graceful death will be appreciated
by
those who are still alive. it may give us strength.


You are probably right, but a graceful life would be nice too.

TL
MC

"Wayne Harrison" wrote
i am 62 years old. my father died at 30, in a barroom fight. my
mother
died suddenly, simply falling to the ground, while walking beside my
eldest
son. i have never seen anyone die, and i never wish to do so.

I'm 51 and I've watched dozens of people die, many in traffic accidents
and many at the hands of others. I was afraid I'd grown so callous to it
that I wouldn't feel much when I lost a loved one, but it wasn't so. I don't
know if any son has felt deeper grief than I did when mom lost her battle
with cancer last summer. Two weeks after her funeral I had to handle an
unattended death (no physician, so a quickie investigation to rule out foul
play) where the whole family scenario was eerily like my own family's
(decedent was the same age and general background as mom, same number of
kids, etc). It was the toughest death of a "stranger" I've ever had to deal
with.

Ken Fortenberry wrote:

and then you die.

http://www.legacy.com/Belleville/Leg...rsonId=2102693

Condolences on your loss, Ken.

JR

Ken Fortenberry wrote in
om:

and then you die.

http://www.legacy.com/Belleville/Leg...LifeStory&Pers
onId=2102693

My little sister's husband Tom, (funny how a 40-something woman is
still my "little" sister), and my dad were both diagnosed with
terminal cancer on the same day. How's that for stranger than fiction
? Dad died twelve days later and that was merciful compared to what
Tom went through these last months.

Enjoy yourself, boyos, it's later than you think.


Rough year, Ken. Condolences.

Scott

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

"Mike Connor" wrote in message
...

"Wolfgang" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
...

Most of us probably see it somewhat differently than they did.

Wolfgang
funny world



I don´t think its all that funny mostly, but sometimes it is. Modern (
yeah
well, if you can call opium modern)drugs are so good that the pain is
not
really an issue. The worst thing is experiencing the fear that others
have
of losing their minds, or becoming "junkies".

They don´t care about the pain, or even about dying, but they really
care
about becoming a helpless gibbering vegetable, or even just losing
control
of their normal bodily functions. For many, the first time they lose
control of their bowels,is the worst thing that ever happened to them.
It
does not "hurt", but actually it hurts worse than anything else.It is
demeaning, to a massive extent, and is the first real sign that one is
dependent on others.

Anybody who has experience of people dying of cancer, and tells you he
would
"prefer to die of cancer" is either a liar, or an abject fool.

Of course, perhaps I just see it differently.

The dying ends, eventually, for the dead. Not so for the living. I guess
there will always be differences of opinion concerning what lingers
longest......or hardest.

Jack Fisher spoke his last words about twenty-four hours before he died.
He
had been lying mostly motionless, asleep or unconscious (for what the
difference is worth) for about two days. Suddenly, and entirely without
warning, he sat bolt upright in bed and made a horrible croaking noise.
Jay
and I were both so shocked by the sudden levitation of Jack's cadaverous
form and the strange sounds emanating from his dry throat through a
skeletal
face that we just sat there stunned, like we'd been hit with a ****ing
hammer, until on the third repetition we finally understood that he was
saying, "I gotta ****!"

We lifted him as gently as possible onto the bed pan and held him there
for
several minutes until he passed out, having produced nothing worthy of
note.
Gently, again, we laid him down on his back, crossed his arms on his chest
and covered him with a blanket. He never moved again.

Anyone witnessing the scene (there was actually no one else present) would
have agreed with the three of us (had it occurred to any of us to think
about it) that there was nothing the least bit amusing about the incident.
These day, whenever I think about, I have to suppress a snort and a giggle
(Jack would have too), and tears.

Wolfgang



thanks. it takes a sophisticated person to be able to feel, identify, and
entertain more than one emotion at a time.

Wolfgang:
The hurt never really goes away. But time erodes the sharper edges.

Like the rocks, memories also wear into gentler forms.

In the past four years I have buried a father-in-law, a mother-in-law ( both
of whom I loved very much) and a grandmother who made it to 99 before
wearing out and just not waking up. All three were gentle deaths for the
departing. Two of them were under the care of local hospices. As we reach
the age where our parents and our own selves are facing death, I can not
recommend the hospice program too highly. It provides a more dignified
death than that allowed in hospitals.

--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
Drowning flies to Dark Star

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm

On Wed, 07 Apr 2004 11:17:00 GMT, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:

and then you die.

http://www.legacy.com/Belleville/Leg...rsonId=2102693

My little sister's husband Tom, (funny how a 40-something woman is still my
"little" sister), and my dad were both diagnosed with terminal cancer on the
same day. How's that for stranger than fiction ? Dad died twelve days later
and that was merciful compared to what Tom went through these last months.

Enjoy yourself, boyos, it's later than you think.


Condolences, Ken.


g.c.

"Wayne Harrison" wrote in message
. ..

"Tim J." wrote

- live each day fully.

i have long felt that one must find a balance between doing most of the
things that one Should , doing some of the things that one Shouldn't , and
squeezing every drop of pleasure possible from all the rest. sounds like a
bad bumper sticker- i know- but it has worked for me...........


an admirable endeavor; funny, but i find i am far more successful
reaching my goal after five o'clock in the evening...


whaddaya know, uncle wayno, much of my success at satsifyingt the above
stated philosophy occurs after 5:00 as well, although i can't boast fluency
in a foreign language as a result SEG

yfitons
wayno (my fluency in russian grows by leaps and bounds, as well.)




Snakefiddler-how you boys been?

Wayne Harrison wrote:
"Ken Fortenberry" wrote:
...
Enjoy yourself, boyos, it's later than you think.

my regrets, forty.

Thanks to you and to all who've expressed condolences here and in
email.

are you coming to the anti-clave in oct?

I sure hope so. How could I, in all good conscience, miss an event
called CACA ? ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote

are you coming to the anti-clave in oct?

I sure hope so. How could I, in all good conscience, miss an event
called CACA ? ;-)


it's the greek in you that ****es me off.

yfitons
wayno