Stolen Flies

With apologies to Johnny Carson and Jack Webb.

“Excuse me officer, I need your help.”

“What’s the problem, sir?”

“I’ve been fleeced.”

“Fleeced? “

“Yes, some one stole my flymphs.”

“You were fleeced of your flymphs? What are flymphs?”

“Fly fishing flies.”

“You were fleeced of your fly fishing flymph flies.”

“That’s right, and they were my favorites.”

“Where were these flymphs?”

“Flat on the floor of my Fleetwood.

“Okay. You were fleeced of your favorite fly fishing flymph flies that
were flat the floor of your Fleetwood. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have any idea on who may have fleeced you of your favorite fly
fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your Fleetwood?”

“Floyd Fleming.”

“Figures. Do you know where Floyd Fleming is?”

“He flew home to Flat Key, Florida.”

“Do you know what Floyd Fleming, who lives in Flat Key Florida, does for
a living?

“Yes, he works for the whaling fleet cutting blubber from whales. He’s
the fleet flenser.”

“Let me summarize. Fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming fleeced you of your
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your
Fleetwood and flew home to Flat Key, Florida.”

“That’s correct. One more thing.”

“Yes.”

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my
favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my Fleetwood
and flew home to Flat Key, Florida…”

“Yes?”

“I gonna flay him.”

--
Frank Reid
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