HatEyes Magnifiers are evil!!!

These are the industrial strength magnifiers that clip to your hat
brim. Just flip them down, bobs your uncle, instant magnifiers to tie
on that fly. Not cheap crap, but optically ground plastic with a
steel frame.
The evil downside. I've got a hat from a Pennsylvania flyshop (will
be named in the personal injury lawsuit). The hat brim comes pre-
curved so it will never work as semi-formal "gansta" wear (i.e. pool
table flat brim, hat cocked 45 degrees to starboard or port). Due to
this severe curve, the HatEyes will not slide up under the brim of
this hat when I'm done tying on fly number 63. No big deal.
Okay, I'm on a lake, middle of August, bright sunshine, 2 p.m., fish
is directly ahead of me to the West, I inch back the fly, twitch,
burn, HOLEY CRAP! MY UPPER LIP IS ON FIRE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
MY NOSE HAIRS BURST INTO FLAME!!! CRAP!! BAD WORD, BAD WORD, BAD
WORD!!! ITS THE MAGEYES!!! THEY'VE TURNED INTO MAGNIFYING GLASSES
AND MY UPPER LIP IS THE ANT NEST!!!
I swear to God. I now have two blisters on my upper lip. Each about
the size of a pencil eraser and sligtly square.
Think its time to grow a mustache before Monday or I'm gonna take SO
much crap at work.
Frank Reid
(maybe I just say I went to the dermatologist and had a couple of
suspicious spots burned off)