The ugly face of Terror at Home..

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual (later discovered to be a
public school teacher) was arrested trying to board a domestic flight while
in the possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a set square and a
calculator. Attourney General John Ashcroft believes the man in a member of
the notorious Al-gebra movement, and he is being charged with carrying
weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search for absolute value. They consist of variable figures,
some are known and some are unknown, who go by secretive names like 'x' and
'y', but they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the Axis
of Medieval with coordinates in every country, and are trying to integrate
our society.

I'm extremely grateful that our government has given a clear sine that it is
intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to
disintegrate ordinate people in abscissa with calculus disregard! These
statistic *******s love to inflict indiscriminant plane on every sphere of
influence. Under the circumferences, its prime time for us to differentiate
their root, and we are determinant to make our point and draw the line.

These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything
in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a
higher power and begin to factor in random facts of vertex. As our great
liter would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty
of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the
hypotenuse will tighten around their nexxus.

--riverman