Woe be unto ye

On Jan 6, 12:40*pm, D. LaCourse wrote:
On 2011-01-05 22:22:02 -0500, Giles said:





with families and such inscrutable encumberances!

My sister, dog bless her oh so connected heart, somehow got wind of
the rumor that I read books and that this is the holiday gift giving
season and that I have a birthday coming sometime in the next year or
so. *So, what does she do? *She calls me and says "HEY! putz, the post
office says package is too large for PO box and we are going to do
something you won't like very much if you don't do something else
about it SOON!

Huh?, sez I.

Go to the damn post office and DO something!

Oh.....uh.....o.k.

So I hie me to the PO, arrive 5 minutes after the service counter
closes, hear voices behind the rollup (or down, as the case may be)
window, and knock. *Whaddaya want, says a voice.

Um, y'all closed?

We are if you want to mail something.

Well, uh, actually, I want to pick something up.....too big for the
box.

Oh. *O.k. *What's your box number.

I confess.

Window opens, package is shoved forward.

Thanks.

No problem. *(the beauty of small town life.....even the official USPO
is casual about hours).

I look but do not touch.....could be an Ayrab or a commie in there.
Hm.....looks ordinary and safe enough. *Matter of fact, looks about
the right size and shape to hold......a BOOK! * * *

I pick it up. *Nope. *Not a book. *Too light for the size of the box
(sister is economical and efficient).

Hm...... * * *

No pot of boiling water handy and it's five miles to home.....could go
off at any moment. *Well then, might as well open it and be done.

I was right. *Not a book. *Quite. (not exactly a bomb either).
Actually, a booklike substance. *It's a "Kindle."

Well.....what the ****?

I take it home, staring balefully at the unholy object at odd
intervals on the ride. *It is not (and has not) moved. *I take this as
a bad sign.

Arriving at the farm, I finish unwrapping and stare at some sort of
welcome message (like I'm going to be taken in by that, right?) pasted
onto the front of the thing.

O.k., I'll peel that off and then get started. *Um.....hm.....no loose
corners, nothing to grab. *And then......

And then the goddamn thing disappears! *Not the Kindle, the message!
AAAAHHHHH! * * *

Turns out it was NOT a piece of paper pasted onto the screen......it
WAS the screen! *Looks exactly like paper with ink on it, *sort of
like (well, a LOT like) a page from a book, a piece of paper with ink
on it.

Witchcraft! *Sorcery! * * *

I've had this thing for less than ten minutes (excluding travel time,
which really can't be counted under the circumstances) and I'm already
liking it!.....and I don't like that.

So, what does one DO with this......this.....this bookie thingie?

What one does, it turns out, is spend an entire evening ready a
tediously long, explicit, and surprisingly sensible user's
manual......or parts of it anyway.....it turns out to be amazingly
intuitive.....one can skip over many of the details.

Ah, but then!

Then, they want you to register the thing at Amazon so you can spend
your children's inheritence.

So, I went to Project Gutenberg and my own archives and downloaded a
hundred or so books. *Cool. *Always wanted to read some of Burroughs'
Jon Carter books.

O.k., three gigabytes to go. *?! *Three gigabytes? *That may be more
books than I own (excluding illustrations, of course......this baby
only does black and white [or shades of gray] so it's pretty much
useless for field guides) and who has time to scan and format all that
****?

So, o.k., I'm going to have to register and look at Amazon and whatnot
all. *Maybe even buy more "books" (not REAL books, of
course.....ersatz, virtual books). *What the hell, I got no children
anyway.

THIS is what comes of having a family! *I do not recommend it. * * * :
(

giles
who, like he ain't already got enough to do!

Moron.

D.


Ah, the hate is back and in full flower. Sounds like someone is on
the fast track to full recovery!

Well, that's a goddamned shame.

g.