Lame Rant

I am getting so sick of it all. I feel like crying half the time. The
other half the time I feel like sleeping.
OF course, I can't sleep because I get bothered every 5 minutes by
someone wanting something.
It'a always take, take, take from me. I don't even get a stinking
birthday present or Father's gift. I can't
come home and expect to be able to relax. It'a always "Take me to the
store" or "Take me to a game or a movie
or a party". If that is not it, it is " Watch the babies for a little
while" or "Load the truck up with something".

No one ever asks me what I want to do. Unless it is choose the
restaurant where I will end up paying $35 for meal for everyone else.
No one ever want to go anywhere with me and do what I want to do. The
only reason Julie takes
me anywhere is so I can sit in the car and watch her kids. It
certainly isn't because we have interests in common.
Matter of fact, the only thing Julie ever wants is to use me for
something. Watch her kids, fix something, buy her something, loan her
money, etc. It's never, "Lane, I have nothing to do today and want to
spend it with you." Nope.
That is just not going to happen. All I am to her is a doo-boy and a
babysitter.

And her old man, Kenny. He is a piece of work. We used to be friends
and do things together and hang out.
He is the only person who used to come and visit me. He was my best
friend. But it seems that all he ever
really wanted was Julie. He wasn't really my friend I don't think. In
the last couple of years he has not once
volunteered to do any activity with me. I have a boat, go fishing all
the time and he never wants to go.
He won't even get me a bag of weed when I ask half the time. I am
tired of taking up his slack. If I did not
fix his house for him he would be living without electricity. Julie
wants me to fix the roof for him. I am
leaning towards NOT doing it. She wants me to fix her car. I probably
won't do that either. Like I said, I am tired
of being used.

Thing is, her kids are attached to me and there is no way they would
understand that I don't want to be around
them anymore. And it's not even that. It's just that they are not my
kids. My kids are mean and disrespectful.
But I'll get to them in a little bit. Julie's kids are sweet, and I do
love them, but I am giving everything I have to
Julie and her family and I get no return on it. Rachel is probably the
only person on Earth who cares about me
right now and I would die before hurting our relationship. I enjoy
time with her. But only to an extent. Julie
has me watching her so much that I don't have any time for me. I can't
even go find a girlfriend because
all my free time is spent dealing with my sister and her kids. What
little time I have left I have to spend fishing.
It's the only way to get any peace. Lately I haven't even enjoyed
fishing that much. I don't know why. Maybe it
is because I am always alone. No one will go fishing with me unless I
beg and plead. Then they do not want to go
when I want to or for as long as I want to.

I guess now I will get to my kids. I love them. I really, really love
them. But why must they treat me like **** all the time?
Why don't they give me even a little respect? I am their father, yet I
have little more authority with them than a teacher at school would.
Now I have found that they have been sneaking around behind my back. I
don't get it.
I put my entire life on hold. I did the right thing and took them out
of a home where they would be abused and
neglected and devoted my life to them. My thanks? I get called a
"Dick" and an "Ass" whenever they do not get
what they want. My youngest kid, Jeff has even made it a habit and
game to **** me off and get me to the point
of near violence. I swear that kid has taken years off my life. Kenny
is a good kid, but he has no patience and
his demands are getting beyond my means. I have spent over $200 on him
this month alone and now he needs
another $150. I work hard. I bleed and sweat for my money. Yet they
can spend it like water and not give it a thought.

Then there is work. I did not want to be a landscaper. I really don't
like it. I wanted to be rock and roll star. I wanted to be
an astronaut. I wanted to be anything. Now I am nothing. Just a guy
who cuts grass. WTF? I have a 145 IQ. I can program in 3 languages,
play 2 different instruments, and can build radio's and tv's. My
skills are profound. Yet I am a
landscaper. I daydream all day at work. It takes no mental effort
whatsoever. I dream of having a real life. A life where what I do
matters. Nothing I do is permanent. Nothing matters. I cut the grass
today and you would never know it next week. People forget to pay me
for weeks on end because what I do and who I am just is not important.

I have tried to change my circumstances several times. It didn't do
any good. I am too insecure to strike out and do
something new. I cannot take the risk right now. I want to, but I know
the time is not right, I am not qualified, and I just cannot win
people over.

Speaking of people. I hate them. There are so many. They are so
stupid. Maybe things would be different if I had ever been accepted
into a group. Well, I was accepted once. But that was among scum.
Redneck white trash criminal scum.
I wasn't accepted for who I was though. I put up a front and acted a
part and they bought it. If I had acted myself I would have been on
the receiving end of most of those beatings instead of the giving end.
I was always too redneck for the nerds and too nerd for the rednecks.
I was shunned in school. Beaten by bullies with small minds. I was
never part
of any social group. If it hadn't been for Missy bringing friends home
from school I probably would still be a virgin.

So here I am. 35 Years old and fed up. Desperately stuck in a
situation that I don't like. Nothing I can do about it. I can't move
away. My mother needs me, my kids need me, and my neices need me.
Even if I could move away I wouldn't
know where to go or what to do. I couldn't afford to go anywhere
anyway. I can't even afford to have these teeth removed.
And they hurt me. They hurt me alot. They look bad too. I can't smile
at a pretty girl. It would make her sick. I get looks
like the women just want to eat me alive sometimes, then I talk to
them and they see my teeth. I can't blame them. I
would not want to kiss anyone who's teeth look like me either. I can't
even stand to look in the mirror at them.

I think I will try to go to bed now. I have to get up, go to work,
come home and be hassled until this time tomorrow.
Then I get to do it all over again. Then I can go fishing if it is not
raining. Maybe.

man you really need to read an Anthony Robbins book
I am not being sarcastic here I mean that
try notes from a friend or awaken the giant within
both are very good books the local library should have em
good luck with it all and try to keep an open mind
Wayne
"Rex Lacoste" wrote in message
...
I am getting so sick of it all. I feel like crying half the time. The
other half the time I feel like sleeping.
OF course, I can't sleep because I get bothered every 5 minutes by
someone wanting something.
It'a always take, take, take from me. I don't even get a stinking
birthday present or Father's gift. I can't
come home and expect to be able to relax. It'a always "Take me to the
store" or "Take me to a game or a movie
or a party". If that is not it, it is " Watch the babies for a little
while" or "Load the truck up with something".

No one ever asks me what I want to do. Unless it is choose the
restaurant where I will end up paying $35 for meal for everyone else.
No one ever want to go anywhere with me and do what I want to do. The
only reason Julie takes
me anywhere is so I can sit in the car and watch her kids. It
certainly isn't because we have interests in common.
Matter of fact, the only thing Julie ever wants is to use me for
something. Watch her kids, fix something, buy her something, loan her
money, etc. It's never, "Lane, I have nothing to do today and want to
spend it with you." Nope.
That is just not going to happen. All I am to her is a doo-boy and a
babysitter.

And her old man, Kenny. He is a piece of work. We used to be friends
and do things together and hang out.
He is the only person who used to come and visit me. He was my best
friend. But it seems that all he ever
really wanted was Julie. He wasn't really my friend I don't think. In
the last couple of years he has not once
volunteered to do any activity with me. I have a boat, go fishing all
the time and he never wants to go.
He won't even get me a bag of weed when I ask half the time. I am
tired of taking up his slack. If I did not
fix his house for him he would be living without electricity. Julie
wants me to fix the roof for him. I am
leaning towards NOT doing it. She wants me to fix her car. I probably
won't do that either. Like I said, I am tired
of being used.

Thing is, her kids are attached to me and there is no way they would
understand that I don't want to be around
them anymore. And it's not even that. It's just that they are not my
kids. My kids are mean and disrespectful.
But I'll get to them in a little bit. Julie's kids are sweet, and I do
love them, but I am giving everything I have to
Julie and her family and I get no return on it. Rachel is probably the
only person on Earth who cares about me
right now and I would die before hurting our relationship. I enjoy
time with her. But only to an extent. Julie
has me watching her so much that I don't have any time for me. I can't
even go find a girlfriend because
all my free time is spent dealing with my sister and her kids. What
little time I have left I have to spend fishing.
It's the only way to get any peace. Lately I haven't even enjoyed
fishing that much. I don't know why. Maybe it
is because I am always alone. No one will go fishing with me unless I
beg and plead. Then they do not want to go
when I want to or for as long as I want to.

I guess now I will get to my kids. I love them. I really, really love
them. But why must they treat me like **** all the time?
Why don't they give me even a little respect? I am their father, yet I
have little more authority with them than a teacher at school would.
Now I have found that they have been sneaking around behind my back. I
don't get it.
I put my entire life on hold. I did the right thing and took them out
of a home where they would be abused and
neglected and devoted my life to them. My thanks? I get called a
"Dick" and an "Ass" whenever they do not get
what they want. My youngest kid, Jeff has even made it a habit and
game to **** me off and get me to the point
of near violence. I swear that kid has taken years off my life. Kenny
is a good kid, but he has no patience and
his demands are getting beyond my means. I have spent over $200 on him
this month alone and now he needs
another $150. I work hard. I bleed and sweat for my money. Yet they
can spend it like water and not give it a thought.

Then there is work. I did not want to be a landscaper. I really don't
like it. I wanted to be rock and roll star. I wanted to be
an astronaut. I wanted to be anything. Now I am nothing. Just a guy
who cuts grass. WTF? I have a 145 IQ. I can program in 3 languages,
play 2 different instruments, and can build radio's and tv's. My
skills are profound. Yet I am a
landscaper. I daydream all day at work. It takes no mental effort
whatsoever. I dream of having a real life. A life where what I do
matters. Nothing I do is permanent. Nothing matters. I cut the grass
today and you would never know it next week. People forget to pay me
for weeks on end because what I do and who I am just is not important.

I have tried to change my circumstances several times. It didn't do
any good. I am too insecure to strike out and do
something new. I cannot take the risk right now. I want to, but I know
the time is not right, I am not qualified, and I just cannot win
people over.

Speaking of people. I hate them. There are so many. They are so
stupid. Maybe things would be different if I had ever been accepted
into a group. Well, I was accepted once. But that was among scum.
Redneck white trash criminal scum.
I wasn't accepted for who I was though. I put up a front and acted a
part and they bought it. If I had acted myself I would have been on
the receiving end of most of those beatings instead of the giving end.
I was always too redneck for the nerds and too nerd for the rednecks.
I was shunned in school. Beaten by bullies with small minds. I was
never part
of any social group. If it hadn't been for Missy bringing friends home
from school I probably would still be a virgin.

So here I am. 35 Years old and fed up. Desperately stuck in a
situation that I don't like. Nothing I can do about it. I can't move
away. My mother needs me, my kids need me, and my neices need me.
Even if I could move away I wouldn't
know where to go or what to do. I couldn't afford to go anywhere
anyway. I can't even afford to have these teeth removed.
And they hurt me. They hurt me alot. They look bad too. I can't smile
at a pretty girl. It would make her sick. I get looks
like the women just want to eat me alive sometimes, then I talk to
them and they see my teeth. I can't blame them. I
would not want to kiss anyone who's teeth look like me either. I can't
even stand to look in the mirror at them.

I think I will try to go to bed now. I have to get up, go to work,
come home and be hassled until this time tomorrow.
Then I get to do it all over again. Then I can go fishing if it is not
raining. Maybe.

Definitely a bad case of the "poor Me's".
At least you mentioned fishing and that is the answer. Screw the world and
go fishing!!

--
Bill
Chesapeake, Va


"Rex Lacoste" wrote in message
...
I am getting so sick of it all. I feel like crying half the time. The
other half the time I feel like sleeping.
OF course, I can't sleep because I get bothered every 5 minutes by
someone wanting something.
It'a always take, take, take from me. I don't even get a stinking
birthday present or Father's gift. I can't
come home and expect to be able to relax. It'a always "Take me to the
store" or "Take me to a game or a movie
or a party". If that is not it, it is " Watch the babies for a little
while" or "Load the truck up with something".

No one ever asks me what I want to do. Unless it is choose the
restaurant where I will end up paying $35 for meal for everyone else.
No one ever want to go anywhere with me and do what I want to do. The
only reason Julie takes
me anywhere is so I can sit in the car and watch her kids. It
certainly isn't because we have interests in common.
Matter of fact, the only thing Julie ever wants is to use me for
something. Watch her kids, fix something, buy her something, loan her
money, etc. It's never, "Lane, I have nothing to do today and want to
spend it with you." Nope.
That is just not going to happen. All I am to her is a doo-boy and a
babysitter.

And her old man, Kenny. He is a piece of work. We used to be friends
and do things together and hang out.
He is the only person who used to come and visit me. He was my best
friend. But it seems that all he ever
really wanted was Julie. He wasn't really my friend I don't think. In
the last couple of years he has not once
volunteered to do any activity with me. I have a boat, go fishing all
the time and he never wants to go.
He won't even get me a bag of weed when I ask half the time. I am
tired of taking up his slack. If I did not
fix his house for him he would be living without electricity. Julie
wants me to fix the roof for him. I am
leaning towards NOT doing it. She wants me to fix her car. I probably
won't do that either. Like I said, I am tired
of being used.

Thing is, her kids are attached to me and there is no way they would
understand that I don't want to be around
them anymore. And it's not even that. It's just that they are not my
kids. My kids are mean and disrespectful.
But I'll get to them in a little bit. Julie's kids are sweet, and I do
love them, but I am giving everything I have to
Julie and her family and I get no return on it. Rachel is probably the
only person on Earth who cares about me
right now and I would die before hurting our relationship. I enjoy
time with her. But only to an extent. Julie
has me watching her so much that I don't have any time for me. I can't
even go find a girlfriend because
all my free time is spent dealing with my sister and her kids. What
little time I have left I have to spend fishing.
It's the only way to get any peace. Lately I haven't even enjoyed
fishing that much. I don't know why. Maybe it
is because I am always alone. No one will go fishing with me unless I
beg and plead. Then they do not want to go
when I want to or for as long as I want to.

I guess now I will get to my kids. I love them. I really, really love
them. But why must they treat me like **** all the time?
Why don't they give me even a little respect? I am their father, yet I
have little more authority with them than a teacher at school would.
Now I have found that they have been sneaking around behind my back. I
don't get it.
I put my entire life on hold. I did the right thing and took them out
of a home where they would be abused and
neglected and devoted my life to them. My thanks? I get called a
"Dick" and an "Ass" whenever they do not get
what they want. My youngest kid, Jeff has even made it a habit and
game to **** me off and get me to the point
of near violence. I swear that kid has taken years off my life. Kenny
is a good kid, but he has no patience and
his demands are getting beyond my means. I have spent over $200 on him
this month alone and now he needs
another $150. I work hard. I bleed and sweat for my money. Yet they
can spend it like water and not give it a thought.

Then there is work. I did not want to be a landscaper. I really don't
like it. I wanted to be rock and roll star. I wanted to be
an astronaut. I wanted to be anything. Now I am nothing. Just a guy
who cuts grass. WTF? I have a 145 IQ. I can program in 3 languages,
play 2 different instruments, and can build radio's and tv's. My
skills are profound. Yet I am a
landscaper. I daydream all day at work. It takes no mental effort
whatsoever. I dream of having a real life. A life where what I do
matters. Nothing I do is permanent. Nothing matters. I cut the grass
today and you would never know it next week. People forget to pay me
for weeks on end because what I do and who I am just is not important.

I have tried to change my circumstances several times. It didn't do
any good. I am too insecure to strike out and do
something new. I cannot take the risk right now. I want to, but I know
the time is not right, I am not qualified, and I just cannot win
people over.

Speaking of people. I hate them. There are so many. They are so
stupid. Maybe things would be different if I had ever been accepted
into a group. Well, I was accepted once. But that was among scum.
Redneck white trash criminal scum.
I wasn't accepted for who I was though. I put up a front and acted a
part and they bought it. If I had acted myself I would have been on
the receiving end of most of those beatings instead of the giving end.
I was always too redneck for the nerds and too nerd for the rednecks.
I was shunned in school. Beaten by bullies with small minds. I was
never part
of any social group. If it hadn't been for Missy bringing friends home
from school I probably would still be a virgin.

So here I am. 35 Years old and fed up. Desperately stuck in a
situation that I don't like. Nothing I can do about it. I can't move
away. My mother needs me, my kids need me, and my neices need me.
Even if I could move away I wouldn't
know where to go or what to do. I couldn't afford to go anywhere
anyway. I can't even afford to have these teeth removed.
And they hurt me. They hurt me alot. They look bad too. I can't smile
at a pretty girl. It would make her sick. I get looks
like the women just want to eat me alive sometimes, then I talk to
them and they see my teeth. I can't blame them. I
would not want to kiss anyone who's teeth look like me either. I can't
even stand to look in the mirror at them.

I think I will try to go to bed now. I have to get up, go to work,
come home and be hassled until this time tomorrow.
Then I get to do it all over again. Then I can go fishing if it is not
raining. Maybe.

Listen, dude,
You need to cut those ungrateful little ****heads OFF! When the gimmes
start in, turn your back and walk away. Selective deafness is a Good
Thing. Lots of kids whose parents can't afford to buy them the stuff
they want get JOBS! So your kids will diss you for refusing them? BFD!
If they don't start learning the relationship between work and money
now, they'll all be living in your basement when they're 35. Next time
they want something, just tell them no, and ignore the temper tantrum
which follows. Why should you be their doormat? Because you let them
walk all over you! Remember, the **** you wade through is the **** you
accept. Just say no! And that goes for your loser son-in-law, too.
Join a fishing club. Connect with anglers in your area. And, fer dog's
sake, DON'T WHINE WHEN YOU'RE ON THE WATER!

I quit fishing with someone here because she wouldn't shut up about some
boyfriend who screwed her over a decade ago. Every damn time we went
out, she'd start in on the whole litany of sins this guy inflicted.
It gets old, like the second time you hear it. Really, really old, like
trout you left in your trunk for a week.

If you don't like your situation, you have the power to change it. If
you choose to let this continue for whatever silly justification you
come up with, it's your own fault. You own it. Deal with it.
You have my sympathy, however. Greedy, demanding, rapacious offspring
are a curse and a burden. You can, however, change that behavior. They
may hate you now, but when they grow up, you'll probably be friends. If
not, they're not worth worrying over, cuz they're selfcentered pieces of
crap. That's my two cents.

barbz