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OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 19th, 2008, 02:25 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Ken Fortenberry[_2_]
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Posts: 1,851
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

"Meanwhile, those unraked leaves of slackers will freeze and
form a hard crust and kill the grass. In the spring, they'll
seed and lay sod but grass will never grow there again, due
to powerful toxins created by unraked leaves, and as a result
those homes will lose half their value and the non-rakers will
go bankrupt. They will lie awake at night, thinking, "Why? Why
did I not rake those leaves when my neighbors raked theirs?"
It was the romanticism of autumn, the need to be unique and to
march to your own drummer. Too late now. Those families will
be forced to migrate south and pick cotton and live in shotgun
shacks and eat biscuits and gravy with hubcaps for plates and
be tormented by red-eyed evangelists and banjo-picking albinos
and clouds of horseflies and cottonmouth snakes slithering
into the bedroom at night.

"We don't have poisonous snakes up north, not during winter,
nor horseflies to trouble us, and so we focus on what is
important. Preserving the Union. Husbandry. Gladness of heart.
Snow shoveling. The sheer satisfaction of it. We're fine up
north. It's you Southerners we're worried about."

LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry
  #2  
Old November 19th, 2008, 02:51 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Frank Reid © 2008
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Posts: 503
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

On Nov 19, 8:25*am, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:
"Meanwhile, those unraked leaves of slackers will freeze and
form a hard crust and kill the grass. In the spring, they'll
seed and lay sod but grass will never grow there again, due
to powerful toxins created by unraked leaves, and as a result
those homes will lose half their value and the non-rakers will
go bankrupt. They will lie awake at night, thinking, "Why? Why
did I not rake those leaves when my neighbors raked theirs?"
It was the romanticism of autumn, the need to be unique and to
march to your own drummer. Too late now. Those families will
be forced to migrate south and pick cotton and live in shotgun
shacks and eat biscuits and gravy with hubcaps for plates and
be tormented by red-eyed evangelists and banjo-picking albinos
and clouds of horseflies and cottonmouth snakes slithering
into the bedroom at night.

"We don't have poisonous snakes up north, not during winter,
nor horseflies to trouble us, and so we focus on what is
important. Preserving the Union. Husbandry. Gladness of heart.
Snow shoveling. The sheer satisfaction of it. We're fine up
north. It's you Southerners we're worried about."

LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry


Definate advantage of prairie landscaping. NO TREES!
Frank Reid
  #3  
Old November 19th, 2008, 04:09 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
~^ beancounter ~^
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Posts: 1,042
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

nice.....



On Nov 19, 7:25*am, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:
"Meanwhile, those unraked leaves of slackers will freeze and
form a hard crust and kill the grass. In the spring, they'll
seed and lay sod but grass will never grow there again, due
to powerful toxins created by unraked leaves, and as a result
those homes will lose half their value and the non-rakers will
go bankrupt. They will lie awake at night, thinking, "Why? Why
did I not rake those leaves when my neighbors raked theirs?"
It was the romanticism of autumn, the need to be unique and to
march to your own drummer. Too late now. Those families will
be forced to migrate south and pick cotton and live in shotgun
shacks and eat biscuits and gravy with hubcaps for plates and
be tormented by red-eyed evangelists and banjo-picking albinos
and clouds of horseflies and cottonmouth snakes slithering
into the bedroom at night.

"We don't have poisonous snakes up north, not during winter,
nor horseflies to trouble us, and so we focus on what is
important. Preserving the Union. Husbandry. Gladness of heart.
Snow shoveling. The sheer satisfaction of it. We're fine up
north. It's you Southerners we're worried about."

LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry


  #4  
Old November 19th, 2008, 04:21 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Larry L
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Posts: 994
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves


"Ken Fortenberry" wrote


LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)



Two days ago my 'suggested' I rake ours ... last night she 'mentioned' it
again ....


Larry L ( who is now off to rake leaves :-)


  #5  
Old November 19th, 2008, 04:31 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
rw
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Posts: 1,773
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

Larry L wrote:
"Ken Fortenberry" wrote


LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)




Two days ago my 'suggested' I rake ours ... last night she 'mentioned' it
again ....


Larry L ( who is now off to rake leaves :-)


You should get a leaf blower so you can annoy your neighbors at the same
time.

--
Cut "to the chase" for my email address.
  #6  
Old November 19th, 2008, 05:26 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
JT
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Posts: 597
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves


"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...

"We don't have poisonous snakes up north, not during winter,
nor horseflies to trouble us, and so we focus on what is
important. Preserving the Union. Husbandry. Gladness of heart.
Snow shoveling. The sheer satisfaction of it. We're fine up
north. It's you Southerners we're worried about."

LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry


I feel so much better now...

I took 580 lbs to the waste to energy facility on Sunday. Over 3/4's of the
leaves are from the neighbors trees. Oh well, I tell myself it's good
exercise...

Snow shoveling should start any day now...

Thanks,
JT


  #7  
Old November 19th, 2008, 07:30 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
LouF[_4_]
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Posts: 9
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

JT wrote:
"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...

"We don't have poisonous snakes up north, not during winter,
nor horseflies to trouble us, and so we focus on what is
important. Preserving the Union. Husbandry. Gladness of heart.
Snow shoveling. The sheer satisfaction of it. We're fine up
north. It's you Southerners we're worried about."

LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry


I feel so much better now...

I took 580 lbs to the waste to energy facility on Sunday. Over 3/4's of the
leaves are from the neighbors trees. Oh well, I tell myself it's good
exercise...

Snow shoveling should start any day now...

Thanks,
JT


In our town, people rake them to the curb(not me , I compost or mulch
all of them) and the town comes around and sucks them up..I couldn't
believe this when I first moved here..what a waste of money. Anyways,
my father in law, who happens to live a few doors down, doesn't like
having them in front of his house so he actually carts all of his and
dumps in front of my house...then gets mad when I complain about it.
  #8  
Old November 19th, 2008, 09:21 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Larry L
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Posts: 994
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves


"rw" wrote


You should get a leaf blower so you can annoy your neighbors at the same
time.



My immediate neighbors include a gun hobbyist with his own shooting range
( currently very considerate about hours of use ), rodeo team ropers with a
dusty arena upwind from us (currently great about watering down the area
before roping), a dairy, and other farmland with the associated seasonal
tractor noise, dust, burning, low flying aircraft, and smelly animals ( I
lease my pasture for some of these things, cows are disgusting but something
has to eat the grass).

Probably not to my advantage to intentionally irritate that group as they
have retaliatory weapons far heavier than a leaf blower if an 'irritation
war' were to break out

Besides, in years past before I retired, I've had as many as 24 dogs here
..... they have been irritated, I'm sure ( Ask Willi how easy it is to
irritate neighbors, even those far way )


But, thanks for thinking about me .... I DO like to annoy when I can G


  #9  
Old November 19th, 2008, 09:25 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Larry L
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Posts: 994
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves


"Larry L" wrote

Larry L ( who is now off to rake leaves :-)


What a frustrating job, raking as new leaves fall in the area just cleaned
up ... ah, well, keeps me busy

Larry L ( who thinks he'll go fly fishing tomorrow ... planted trout place,
but better than nuttin' )


  #10  
Old November 19th, 2008, 10:14 PM posted to rec.outdoors.fishing.fly
Ken Fortenberry[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,851
Default OT Garrison Keillor on unraked leaves

LouF wrote:
JT wrote:
"Ken Fortenberry" wrote:
LOL !! I was already planning to rake leaves today. ;-)


I feel so much better now...

I took 580 lbs to the waste to energy facility on Sunday. Over 3/4's
of the leaves are from the neighbors trees. Oh well, I tell myself
it's good exercise...

Snow shoveling should start any day now...


In our town, people rake them to the curb(not me , I compost or mulch
all of them) and the town comes around and sucks them up..I couldn't
believe this when I first moved here..what a waste of money. Anyways,
my father in law, who happens to live a few doors down, doesn't like
having them in front of his house so he actually carts all of his and
dumps in front of my house...then gets mad when I complain about it.


I filled fifteen 30 gal. paper bags and there's still plenty of
leaves on the trees.

Here in Urbana the city picks up bagged leaves on recycling day
four times during the fall. My recycling day is Thursday and this
was the third, or next to last, leaf pick up day. Dec. 4th will
be the last one and I'll probably fill 15 more bags on Dec. 3rd.
Urbana, Tree City USA, whoop de friggin' doo. ;-)

--
Ken Fortenberry
 




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