Now, reporte..er, particularly grasping sources are reporting more facts
that point toward some weird Jewish involvement in the damage to New
Orleans. These sources are saying something about what sounds like it
might be some guy from New York (or possibly Boca Raton, FL) named
"Bernie" ("Boy-knee") having filled Lake Pontchartrain as those
aforementioned dastardly Levys were up to their trickery. Speculation
is beginning to build among reporters that any group with a guy named
"Boy-knee" and a bunch of Levys must be some sort of Jewish gang. Henri
Dubissonette, now known as "Henry Dew-bis-ON-it," and formally of Grand
Isle, said he was pretty sure "that all that extra water in
Pontchartrain came through Lake Bourne," but former fashion and leisure
reporters Candice Babcock and Brucie Peters, from the LA bureaus of CNN
and Fox, respectively, dismissed him as "just some uniformed white local
yokel" and told him to go count Cadillacs in the black part of town.

These same sources are at a loss as to why this bunch of Jews had
singled out New Orleans during the crisis, but some are speculating that
this reluctance to speculate is because just don't know yet if words
like "Farr-vee," "Neck-a-see," and "Koo-vaas'" that they are seeing in
their briefing notes about things over in MS are Jewish names or
ebonics, and as such, are being particularly politically correct until
they can figure things out. When asked for comment, Bay St. Louis
resident John Necaise said he didn't understand much of what the
reporter was babbling about, but he was pretty sure that Mayor Farve and
Senator Cuevas would be on top of any kind of conspiracy stuff.

Well, I, for one, am shocked. And to think, if it weren't for such
perspective providers and their obviously keen grasp of things down
here, we uninformed local types might not realize what was what...