worth thinking about

"Wayne Knight" wrote in message
...

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

By the way, did you call me yesterday?......or did I have a really odd
fever induced dream?


Yup, I called.

Whew! I was asleep again seconds after you called. Woke up about an hour
later and had forgotten about it completely. Stumbled about the house for a
few hours and then crashed again. Just as I was falling asleep around 9:30
I thought I heard the phone ring. Sat bolt upright in bed, said
"huh?.....Wayne?" and collapsed again. Woke up in the morning and didn't
remember any of it.

Hm......come to think of it, this must all have been Friday, not yesterday.
Yesterday was kind of foggy too, though. Last night, with a steely
determination born of desparation, I even tried what my Romanian/Californian
friend calls the "hat cure". You lie in bed on your back with a hat perched
on one foot (he didn't specify which foot......I don't think it matters) and
then drink whiskey till you see two hats. Didn't have any whiskey. Used
red wine. Didn't work......ran out of wine.

So, like, I got the ****in' plague ain't enough!......Becky hauls my still
feverish ass out of bed at 7:00 this morning and says "Come on. You're
going to yoga with me!" "huh?......yoga?" quoth I, rather wittily (I think)
considering the circumstances. "It's good for you." Well.....yeah.....I
guess.....sit on a mat, do a little deep
breathing....meditate....chant....whatever.....can 't hurt, I s'pose. Sweet
merciful Christ, they like ta ****in' killed me! I got twisted....I got
stretched....I got pummeled! I did down dogs, up dogs, warrior stances,
crows, pigeons and whatnot all animals.

"Turn your head." she says.
"Like this?" sez I.
"No, like THIS!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH!"
"Now, look down."
"Down? Um.....what are those bumps?"
"Those are your vertebrae."
"Vertebrae? AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAHHH!"
"Oh, stop being silly!"
"Silly? Where's my left leg?"
"Right there!"
"Th.....? AAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH!

I escaped......eventually......well, most of me.

Anyway, it all came back in a flash.....um.....well, o.k., sort of a dull
fizz to be more precise.....when I saw your name on the screen this morning.

I owe you half a lunch.

Fat lot of good it's gonna do me. I think the perky little Nazi
torturer/instructor sent my intestines out to be laundered or
something......I don't know.....all day I've been afraid to look down there.


Wolfgang

Wolfgang wrote:

"Wayne Knight" wrote in message
...

"Wolfgang" wrote in message
...

By the way, did you call me yesterday?......or did I have a really odd
fever induced dream?


Yup, I called.


Whew! I was asleep again seconds after you called. Woke up about an hour
later and had forgotten about it completely. Stumbled about the house for a
few hours and then crashed again. Just as I was falling asleep around 9:30
I thought I heard the phone ring. Sat bolt upright in bed, said
"huh?.....Wayne?" and collapsed again. Woke up in the morning and didn't
remember any of it.

Hm......come to think of it, this must all have been Friday, not yesterday.
Yesterday was kind of foggy too, though. Last night, with a steely
determination born of desparation, I even tried what my Romanian/Californian
friend calls the "hat cure". You lie in bed on your back with a hat perched
on one foot (he didn't specify which foot......I don't think it matters) and
then drink whiskey till you see two hats. Didn't have any whiskey. Used
red wine. Didn't work......ran out of wine.

So, like, I got the ****in' plague ain't enough!......Becky hauls my still
feverish ass out of bed at 7:00 this morning and says "Come on. You're
going to yoga with me!" "huh?......yoga?" quoth I, rather wittily (I think)
considering the circumstances. "It's good for you." Well.....yeah.....I
guess.....sit on a mat, do a little deep
breathing....meditate....chant....whatever.....can 't hurt, I s'pose. Sweet
merciful Christ, they like ta ****in' killed me! I got twisted....I got
stretched....I got pummeled! I did down dogs, up dogs, warrior stances,
crows, pigeons and whatnot all animals.

"Turn your head." she says.
"Like this?" sez I.
"No, like THIS!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH!"
"Now, look down."
"Down? Um.....what are those bumps?"
"Those are your vertebrae."
"Vertebrae? AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAHHH!"
"Oh, stop being silly!"
"Silly? Where's my left leg?"
"Right there!"
"Th.....? AAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH!

I escaped......eventually......well, most of me.

Anyway, it all came back in a flash.....um.....well, o.k., sort of a dull
fizz to be more precise.....when I saw your name on the screen this morning.


I owe you half a lunch.


Fat lot of good it's gonna do me. I think the perky little Nazi
torturer/instructor sent my intestines out to be laundered or
something......I don't know.....all day I've been afraid to look down there.


Wolfgang



that was funny. ...but, um, we won't be doing yoga or pasties in sept,
right?

jeff

"Jeff Miller" wrote in message
news:JgdRf.31222$2c4.1515@dukeread11...

that was funny. ...but, um, we won't be doing yoga or pasties in sept,
right?

Hm......I'll have to get back to you on that. Gotta check the
pantry......after I finish inventorying my remaining body parts.

Wolfgang